Peanut

2011-11-17T01:52:00.002+08:00

God will love you just the way you are,
regardless of who you are,
whether or not you change for better or for worst.

But if you do love Him back,
you would want to change for the better, and to give all that you've received, back to Him.

2011-08-11T03:08:00.002+08:00

Feelin pretty chill now.
Was just having a quick browse thru of the blogs of my old sec sch mates.
Kinda brings about thoughts of how fast life has passed us by.
The girls are into their days in uni,
while the JC batch of guys are a couple of months into nation-serving.

Man...i can still vividly remember the times in sec 4, sitting at my place in class,
laughing my ass off daily. it was good.

3 years on, dont talk lots to these peeps anymore.
as much as i dont talk to them,
i really do wish them all the very best in their endeavours.
who knows who we'd become, the next time we have a class reunion?

much has changed for more in the past 3 years.
guess i've pretty much gotten more into church affairs.
learning & growing in a church environment...
i've walked alot more in my faith journey too.
i still am, with many areas of growth awaiting me.

life has been quite a joy, musically too.
gettin into piano.
almost a year on,
i'm happy to be able to play simple, pretty basic stuff decently.
or so i think. heh.

just felt a lil nostalgic, and thought i'd say hi to my lil blog here.

its nice to know that such friends-
my lil 6-stringed darling, my lil blog, and my Bible...

they are always here, waiting to be 'switched on'.

just like the bros & sistas in life.
the ones u'd journey with together into the next >10 years on into the unknown.

I thank the Lord for the many blessings, and for the peace in my heart.

Cheers!

2011-07-22T02:17:00.002+08:00

messed up a lil today,
when i kinda went ahead with uploading a friend's IC photo on fb.
well, she didnt take it very nicely.
yeap, a joke gone bad.
lesson learnt-never diss someone, thinking they'd always be cool with it.
i'll learn.

its gettin late, and i should be catching a lil snooze.

cheers!

2011-06-25T02:27:00.002+08:00

Life's been good, with regular doses of bromance along the way.
faggot-ty and confused we may seem in our conversations.
but damn, gta love the chillin' during the late nights..

as much as i hate it, school's been bugging me pretty bad.
5 projects and a personal assignment to do.
music and a lil social life does not feel as carefree,
when you know you've a report waiting for you at home.
not enjoying it i must say.

then you've got the other side of things,
where we may whine, but its a fact that we often overlook the blessing to be able to study,
and live a relatively sheltered life.
The ability to see Him in one's school work is really really tough for me. heh.

havent had a good 'me' time for awhile now.
kinda missing it.

and i've yet to start training for AHM in approx 10 weeks time.
not good.
i can imagine the awesome training that awaits, and reaping the fruits of pounding the paths/trails after numerous weeks.
its the start-putting those shoes on and going, that is the tough one.
secondly, time management.

Time management has always been a real struggle for me.
Too many commitments perhaps.

1. Church,
of which i have the ministry commitments,
and commitments to the youth community/parish events as a whole.

2. Personal spiritual life
Involves weekday Masses (which are awesome btw), Adoration and reading of my Catholic materials

3. Music
- The desire to gain knowledge and insights into the theoretical and practical aspects of music.
-The need to express through the instrument. Esp. through the piano in recent times.

4. Family
-To aim to have dinner at least once during weekdays and at least once during weekends.
-Spending a day with them is an added joy.

5. Chill-time
-A meal or two with sec sch mates, or with the youth community in church.
Time with the fellow kpks and our fellow jokers.
Basically, time to unwind. Timbre is one i'd love to be at more often with the awesome peeps.

6. School
-Yeah, last and the least for me. haha. Basically fulfilling my duties as a student by trying to dutifully do my projects. lets not get to even doing tutorials.
A huge one that considerably limits the above 5 other commitments.

Schooling is good and impt i understand.
but how i am going to apply them to my life in future is another issue.
why take this course, you might ask.
it is a general course that is a safe option.
one that can still take you anywhere else.
and i thought doing HR might have you interact more,
and going out to do some talking.
turns out, its more of the mundane 9-5 life, being at your desk in the deadly, silent office.
not good.

so yes, life has been too busy for my own liking.

I must suck it up, or like what the kpks would say,
balls to me.

haha.

Oh and by the way,
He is still present in my daily life, i know.

Cheers to the game of life.
Enjoy the ride!

2011-06-17T02:05:00.002+08:00

Life's been threading along pretty alright.
Not the nicest of times, with projects prettily heavy on.
Its year 3, i gotta suck it up.

headin back to amk home aft tonight.
home sweet home.
the good ol' comfy-to-the-max bed.

Chillin' to keith urban right now.
awesome awesome musician and person...quite the perfect guy. haha.

a certain topic came up while talkin to the good mates.
not sure what i can say of the whole issue too.
sometimes all i can do is look at it and laugh..
its quite funny, how things can take such a turn.
just when you thought things were nice.
He has quite a sense of humour.

Thank God for the gift of music, and for the people He has provided for us.

This quote sums things up pretty nicely for me right now.
Here it goes:

"It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters"
Mother Teresa

I am not superman, nor am i gonna play God
Neither am I gonna stop trying to love like Him.

By the Grace of God.
Let His will be done.

2011-05-22T23:23:00.002+08:00

Humans. How funny can we be.
Haha.

Anyway,
had some damn good coffee and cake late last night.
Maybe one day i'd try to ask for my dear parents to try it,
and hopefully bring a whole one home.
What a birthday cake it'll be too. haha.

Left my guit stand in the hotel last night,
now she can only stay in the safe comforts of the bag.
Oh well.

Thank God for the faith,
and for showing His presence in all things.
May we never let our emotions and our head rule over the heart where He lives.

2011-05-21T02:49:00.002+08:00

"Holy purity is granted by God when it is asked for with humility"
- St. Josemaria Escriva

I've always wondered how it feels for a person to live his/her life with utmost purity.
A state of mind uncorrupted by sin.
Imagine how carefree u can be.
Living your life in purity and humility in His love and presence.
Loving everyone just as He has taught us to.

Back to reality, in a world filled with negativity
and well, not so carefree.
Its hard not to let any form of negativity creep into your head.

One thing is for sure,
He'll be there, waiting for you to come back to Him.
He'll be patient and understanding,
letting you take your time to explore the world around you,
until you choose to run back to Him.

Like a tired child that has finished playing hide and seek with the world,
let us run back to Him.

And i will run to You,
to Your words of truth.

Not by might, not by power,
but by the Spirit of God.

2011-05-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

"Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
not even if your whole world seems upset.
If you find that you have wandered away from the shelter of God,
lead your heart back to Him quietly and simply"
-St. Francis de Sales

Amen.

2011-05-14T01:05:00.002+08:00

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

No desire for communication with fellow humans tonight.

Hiding in the shell and safety of music and Christ.

i struggle Lord, to hang on to You sometimes.

This is one of the times.

An emptiness that aches. Why, i dont know.

Feelings of unworthiness creep in. I know i cannot succumb to it.

But tonight, Lord, I'm tired.

I know i have to hang on.

And hang on i will.

I just want to let go, just for the night.

Open my heart Lord,

so that i may be open to You, Your words, Your promptings.

Help me to embrace the emptiness inside,

for we are small and weak inside,

so that You may show how mighty You are in our lives.

Our Father in Heaven,

Hallowed be Thy Name
Your Kingdom come,

Your Will be done.

2011-05-07T01:17:00.002+08:00

"Let us not be afraid to be humble, small, helpless to prove our love for God"
This line resonates within me, especially tonight.
It is so easy for one to feel small on the inside, to feel so weak and lost.
Once again, thoughts creep up from my head.
Thoughts that threathen to stir up whats within the heart.
This inevitably allows some self-doubt to come in,
and i dont like entertaining such negative thoughts.

What i know i have to do, is to turn any negativity into an affirmation of His love.
That is something we are called to do,
because such thoughts and feelings arent introduced into our minds
by the One above for no reason.
Through such small trials that come along,
we are reminded that we constantly need Him in our lives,
that we can only rely on Him, because all else in this earth is completely reliable.

I watched this christian show. One small scene touched me the most.
Specifically, it was a small dialogue between a son & his dad, where the son asked
"Why did God make me so small and tiny?"
The dad replied, "So that He would be able to show you how almighty He is".

I Pray that I would be able to be more deserving of the gifts & blessings
that He has showered me with. That i may be at peace with myself,
and believe that He has made me perfectly in His image.
I Pray that i may look upon my fellows brothers & sisters in Christ
with a love that is unconditional, a love that never judges,
a love that is humble, pure and Holy.
May i do my very best for Him and be a better servant for Him.
May I strive to be a better Brother in Christ for every single person around me.
Amen.

2011-05-05T16:05:00.002+08:00

"Once we take our eyes away from ourselves, from our interests, from our own rights, privileges, ambitions-then they will be clear to see Jesus around us" - Mother Teresa

Many times, we struggle to be the Christ-like servant we ought to be in our daily lives.
Why do we fail to see or acknowledge His presence?

Have we been too busy to take some time out to be still in His love and presence?
So much so that we have been too clouded in our heads, too busy to stop for a minute or two.
Have we placed our own priorities & interests before His?
Could that be the sole reason why we feel empty inside,
the reason why we are never fully contented or at peace with ourselves?

Pray that we may never be self-centered in our lives,
that we may always seek to serve and not be served.
May we be humble in every single that we do, in every person we communicate with.
May we lower ourselves,
so that we may acknowledge the mistakes that we have made
and the hurts we have caused to Him and to the people around us.

May we always cling on our faith and to His love.
May we never stop communicating with Him, even if He seems distant.

A salt of the earth.
A sheep sent out to be among a pack of wolves.
It's a daily struggle,
but His love reigns over all negativity surrounding us.
Amen.

2011-04-04T00:58:00.003+08:00

Its been a month. Life has been going on pretty fine..with a couple of small tests from Him along the way. well...kinda feel that i'm in a state right now, where i dont know what His plans for me are. A time where i dont know that whatever i'm doing, is right or wrong. but hey...its thru these stuff that we seek His will for us even more eh! Is this whole thing coming on too soon? I think so. guess this is where my responsibility has to come in, to restrict myself from caving into emotions once again. To not let emotions completely take over the head, and to continue to uphold my responsibility as a leader of the ministry. of course, such feelings are always nice to experience.. the feeling of being a little closer than friends do. but at the end of the day, are these experiences a fleeting moment? or are they ones that can possibly lead to something long-term. Above all, I have to keep all ears open in me to listen out to His voice at this time. To not be clouded by the happenings all around me. I do need to hear what He has to say to me. What He has in will for me, for us, for the times ahead. Its getting harder to listen, with so much going on, but i'm gonna hang on, to try to keep the silence in my heart for Him. A little getaway would be awesome now. To a scene from New Zealand... lush greenery, animals grazing on the green pastures. lying down on the grass, looking up to the clear sky. damn, its good. haha. Life's taking an interesting turn. Lets see where and how i end up this time. Good vibes all around, but are they for real? Only time will tell, as long as i continue to hang on to Him, and keep my heart open. to Him. Ciao. Would you want me, when i'm not myself?

2011-03-03T00:51:00.005+08:00

Its been almost a good month since i last posted.
Pretty amazing, how this blog managed to survive for a good 5-6 years?
Since late late primary 6 times.
Oh, life couldnt have changed much more from then.

Life's been treating me pretty good.
The One up there has been placing me in a nice position in life,
a place where the view is clear, and i learn.
Continuing to be the guy on the side, learning as i watch the lives of others unfold around me.
Along with the views, comes these emotions.
The hurt that you see your mates go through, it does tug at my heart too.
And what more can one do, than to let the treasured friend that you'll always be there to lend a ear and a helping hand.
Together with the ever-important weapon to tackle life's challenges- Prayer,
I believe that the mates will be fine, no matter what they go through.
I have FAITH that they are looked upon with love from the One above.

Its faith once again, that helps one to view life as His personal love story to each one of us.
And as we flip through every page of this little love story,
new happenings occur. fresh, raw emotions pop up here and there.
and amidst all these, we may lose sight of His purpose for having us go through what we went through.
Thats when He helps you out again, by placing special people in your life,
to open up your eyes and help you to clearly see His love all around.

Its so easy to be blinded by all the negativity of this world.
And i thank the One up there once again,
for helping to keep me grounded,
in my faith and in my life.

Though i may falter at times,
He brings me up, through the many special people in my life.

And in comes the music in my life,
as an offering and thanksgiving up to Him,
for it is only through Him, that i have the priviledge to enjoy music.

Life may be tough,
but i'm holding on...holding on with His love within me

God bless,
Lenny.

2011-02-04T23:23:00.002+08:00

watching a few bluesy tunes on youtube again, finally.

just reminds me of something....

i need to find my lil bluesy roots again.

school hours have once again compromised time with my love.

by the way,

Happy CNY to all!

God bless.

2011-01-16T01:52:00.002+08:00

My heart aches, looking at all the suffering many are going through.

Looking at news of disasters happening all around, from Australia to Brazil to India,
its just depressing.
Seeing my beloved bros and sisters in Christ going through their trials and stumbling in the midst of it, pains me too.
What can i do more, other than lending a listening ear and helping in what i can.
Its all i can do physically,
but is there more i can do to ease all the problems that their going through?

I'm not going to retreat into my own little shell, stupidly asking "why",
like how i used to.
Its just a plain waste of time, sulking and being all pessimistic over such situations.
We are going to need all the prayers for each other, for us to be a pillar of strength for each other, and to realise that we are the ones who will help bring them up whenever they fall.
I am going to try my best, at the same time relying on Him to grant me all the strength and wisdom that i will need, to help all around me who are not doing very well.

I really do pray for the wisdom and strength to be upon all, so that we may better see how all the stuff that we are going through are really challenges from Him.
I'm sad over all the happenings, but i take comfort in the fact that He allows me to help in my own little way, and not just sit back and turn a cold shoulder towards every damn thing happening.

"For i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope
and a future"
- Jeremiah 29:11

Amen.

2011-01-03T00:08:00.003+08:00

a new year. a continued effort in faith.

havent done a good reflection of 2010, doubt i'd do one here.
but it definitely has been a blast,
with many many areas of growth for me,
and friendships to be treasured in the years to come.

Its gonna be a big year on the Church front.
Getting into the affair of this youth community,
its gonna be quite an experience.

It can be real challenging being a leader sometimes,
managing your emotions with your responsibilities.
standing strong when everything seems bleak.

Amidst all of the trials,
His light shines through ever so brightly in the many people around me,
being such beautiful examples of His love for us.
and that is one of the most evident examples of His holy presence in my life.

Thank you Lord, for your grace and mercy.

Here's to 2011,
what a year it's gonna be.

Cheers!

2010-12-26T02:02:00.002+08:00

Thank you Lord, for the trials that come our way.
For it is through these trials, that we are able to better see your love in the many small things around us, that we usually take from granted.

And as we continue our Christmas celebrations, help us to remember the immensity of Your love, and to always strive to live our lifes centered around You.

2010-12-11T01:06:00.002+08:00

Its crunch-time on the church side of things.
Trying, to say the very least.
On the bright side, its really nice seeing the commitment of the commitee this time.
All gathered together in faith and love.
Everyone's praying for this youth camp....
for it to be one that is led by the Spirit and one that will be impactful for the participants.

Planning stages has really been tough, for me at least.
A new experience i must say, as i've never been in a comm handling so much details and info.
Which reminds me, i shouldnt even be blogging now.
Other more impt things to settle.

One question has been weighing on my mind since YWM meeting a couple of hours back:
What does it mean to love?
Love in Christ's context.

Letting His will be done, for me.
That itself is something that is so hard to live by.
And that too, can be seen in the context of Christ-centered relationships.

If we allow Him to lead our lives and let His will be done,
and NOT play this game of love solely because we THINK we are ready for it,
that i believe, is letting His will be done.

We love Christ.
And what does it mean to love?

To love, is to trust.
to trust, is to let His will be done.
To let His will be done, we would need to live an active, prayerful life.
By having an active, prayerful life, we can attain purity.
By being pure, we are living out our lives in accordance to the virtues of Christ,
who loved so purely and served so humbly.
Only by living our lives in accordance to the virtues of Christ,
can we really live by what we say, that we truly love Christ.

Working with the seniors and fellow churchmates for this camp and ministry,
has made me realise alot about my shortcomings.
So many flaws, so many things that can be improved on.

And i'm thankful for the experience.
Final week or so,
hanging on tight by His grace and love.

Sch's on again this monday. huat ah.

God bless,
and cheers!

2010-11-22T03:08:00.002+08:00

I've been riding along the waves of Life and all its games pretty fine.
goin thru the motions of sch...commiting my time to church and finding solace in music and God.
i'm doing alright.

y'know...life's been pretty interesting.
huge array of emotions creeping up here and there....
really takes effort to keep them in check, all of them.

sch's been kinda slack, with only 2 modules for 6 odd weeks of study.
double presentation day this wed. afterwhich, i'm over and done.
thanks project management and customer service, you've been interesting.

Onto the music side.
Haven't been progressing much on the guitar.
Been gettin into the piano alot more recently.
Thanks to awesome friend in sister in Christ, Jane.
Got me started on it, and i've been loving my new journey on the piano thus far.
What a beautiful instrument.

Looking to get into sightreading soon.
Yes, the infamous 'tau gay'.
Why would i venture into this area of music, one might ask.
its all in a bid to help myself understand the technicalities of music a lil more,
and possibly have a shot at gettin myself a place in the MDC durin my NS time.
heh.

lets see how things flow from here.
lots happening on many frontiers.

Been riding on this wave just fine.
A lil low on the communication with Him though.
But i'd get through this soon.

its 3.20am.
gna get some rest
and hopefully have a better body clock in time to come.

Cheers.

2010-10-26T00:58:00.002+08:00

i asked God recently, to help me feel, once again, the immensity of His love.
Ever like how a flawed human, i need some reminders and affirmation.

and so, there was the bi-monthly youth mass 2 nights ago.
the day of the event itself would always be more jam-packed and stressful for me.
being one who's takin charge of this youth mass made it even more so.
so time went by, and the whole event was a nice smooth one.
then comes the packing up. wires everywhere, equipment to put back in place.
amidst all the business of packing up,
i'd just be focusing on puttin stuff back into place,
and then comes the fellow peeps, coming in to clear the place.
helping to clear stuff, helping to keep my laptop, etc.
its thru things like that, that i am re-affirmed of His love.
its thru the bros and sisters who so readily help to clear and give their time to help,
that He shows His grace and love.

and when i'd feel a little more empty on the inside on some days,
i can think back and know, that there always is an abundant dose of His love.

and more so, is His love expressed through music. the gift of music.
Went to a tommy emmanuel concert ystd with a group of awesome mates.
and probably an hour of settling down in the concert hall to that man's music,
i thought about the peacefulness and beauty of this thing that comes through the speakers.
closed my eyes, it felt so damn peaceful.
i get a sense of joy and peace through all that enters my ears.
and there, God once again displays what He has to offer.
damn. what beauty.

and i'd continue to try and live out life as He has willed for,
a life of His love, to be one that He has called us to be.
to love like He did, to see everyone around us as His child.

with a society filled with negativity in so many aspects,
we unknowingly follow this trend, and start to get played with in our minds.
how we are not good enough, blabla.
its so easy to get sucked into all this.

as sch starts again trw,
its a time to go back to the outside world,
away from the comforts of churchmates.
i pray that i may continue to strive to be a better example of His love.
and always be reminded of His love all around me.

ciao.

2010-10-15T03:25:00.000+08:00

discernment...discernment.

oh what a journey it has been, and will be.

2010-10-13T01:15:00.002+08:00

life's been coming along fine recently.

just ended a vocation discernment retreat over the course of fri-sun

a very nice and warm affirmation of faith and an insight into the discernment of His will for us.

its gna be a very eventful week before sch commences again on the 18th.

hols passed by real quickly (again).

its gna be an interesting sem, with internal attachment taking the place of studies.

new people, new experiences.

lets see what He has in plan eh. haha.

just a quick update for now.

ciao.

Give thanks to the Lord, our God and King

His love endures forever

2010-10-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

Day was spent wakin up early for morning Mass,
in the little commitment to make every wednesday one where we'd go for morning Mass.
had a lil coffeeshop talk aft Mass afterwhich.
next few hours were spent on music in the attic,
where we practiced songs for upcomin Youth Mass on the 23rd.
Got pretty drained towards the end, where our lack of sleep took its toll.
haha.

Played quite abit today, fingers are feeling the burn.
but as always, good stuff.
its hard to put to words what music can offer.
what an outlet, seriously.

Now in a state of feeling,
where theres no mood to do anything,
but just laze around with some acoustic/bluesy/jazzy stuff playin thru the speakers.
awesomely lazy mood. haha.

aspiring to improve more on the 6 stringer and the other instrument.
with extended hols, i should seize the opportunity and let the music flow.
kinda hard to improve now,
so its definitely much harder trying to reach a new stage of "enlightenment".
Its a mindset i've to try and maintain,
to know that, in the midst of putting in work to try and improve,
that i will not be blinded and continue to always acknowledge the source of this blessing.

so, continue aspiring to be more in one with my 6-stringer i would,
but not without acknowledging and utilizing this blessing,
and always offer this gift back to Him, and glorify Him for all He's done,
with this blessing of music.
Amen.

And for now,
to continue with pigging around.
ciao.

2010-09-21T18:10:00.002+08:00

Eric Clapton Signature Strat........................!!!

anyone??? please??
please?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. hahaha. so so damn sweet sounding.
damn..

somebody..?

2010-09-20T03:04:00.002+08:00

life's been pretty smooth, with much of hols spent on church and music.
feeling fine, just unfit. haha.
stan chart's looming, and im not gna go for my first run unprepared.
though its 10km, im no slacker, and will train for this.
i miss training with the track team, where we'd just push ourselves to the very end point,
where we'd make a final dash.
all the mind games in long distance running,
and the funnily random stuff that come outta one's head during the runs.

have been spendin a good amount of time just chillin with awesome church peeps.
just havin them over, play a lil guitar, bullshitting most of the time.
just basically lettin the childishly gay side out again. haha.
its been good.

results day are approachin too, a day i'm not lookin forward to.
hasnt been a good sem, with a lack of drive and motivation on my part to excel.
my almost zero sense of urgency in many things has once again reared its ugly head.
expecting a drop.

music-wise, havent been advancing of late, just messing around currently.
havin fun, bluesin a lil, getting a lil poppish here and there.
will be playin with a friend/churchmate, lucien, this wed at this cafe,
as his other guitarist is unavailable. an awesome dude lucien is.
lookin forward to just chillin and havin a good one.

just sittin here by my table, relaxin to a lil acoustic music.
gta love acoustic stuff man.
hopefully would be able to catch a couple of musical acts,
or even mayer, if that guy comes to SG.
i mean, why not? since u'll be at manila, why not take a lil trip down to sunny singapore?
i'd go crazy like a little girl going gaga over bieber. hah!

Ciao.

We bow down, we lay our crowns, at the Feet of Jesus.
The greatness of His mercy and Love..

2010-09-11T01:38:00.002+08:00

Age to age He stands, Time is in His hands...

How true this line holds to each and every one of our lives.
How we may choose to roam around this earth searchin to fill the little emptiness on our hearts,
attempting to seek happiness and pleasure from things around us,
predominantly with regards to material wealth.
this thing bout money that we entrust so much of our security and lives upon.
how so often, we falter.
and one would come to a realisation, how does money come into the picture of my happiness?
yes, u can have all the kinds of food or gold u might lust for.
at the end of the day, is that what you need?
or is it a mere want, to long for greater material wealth?

So, ever so often, many of us falter,
and thats where majority of people who become inactive in their spirituality,
actually come back to church.
only when we feel like shit inside of ourselves, then we begin to question and wonder.
and each time we come back, pouring our hearts out,
we'll be reconciled inside, with Him and with His will in our lives.
People feel good again, and many will step out of the gates of church feeling uplifted again.
and for many, this cycle plays on.
Feeling so miserable, come back, and leave on a high. only to drop down again eventually.
its a pity, how some might not even go thru this cycle,
deciding that the ending of one's life is a better option.

imagine the hurt and heartbreak you'll give to ur loved ones and friends,
as u depart from the face of this earth.
what a departing present from you to them.
and yeah, it does hurt me a hell lot to see a person,
esp any young person, leave this place just like that.

how can one end up in such a situation?
when our hearts are closed up to that extent,
that we fail to see any hint of positivity and love in our daily lives.
it is a very real situation, when something gets u down,
and u allow urself to drown in ur pathetic misery.

and yet amidst all of ur self-proclaimed misery,
there He is, standing ever so tall, watching over you.
How He offers his grace and love through all the friends and loved ones around you,
or maybe even through that 1 solitary friend that you might have.
that 1 person who talked and listened to you,
when the whole world just laughs and neglects you.
that, a listening ear of 1 friend, is indeed a blessing in itself.
Hence, in my humble opinion,
its a matter of the open-ness of our hearts,
whether we are not so blinded by our own hurt,
to be receptive and receive His little blessings to get you going fine in life.

Dont know what prompted me to rant all of these,
but it simply came from listenin to this very popular christian track.
Listening and watching it played live by Tomlin,
just brought out the inner gratitude in me once again.
guess that spurred me to write this. heh.

On another note......papers are over.
life has started once again ;)

Hopefully i'll be able to wake up on time to have a lil futsal with the guys later. heh.

Many blessings He has been working on and giving so abundantly,
and I am beginning to see the fruits of His will.
Amen.

Goodnight everyone :)

How great is our God, truly great...

2010-08-28T00:14:00.003+08:00

havent blogged for awhile.
well went for amplify just now,
first time going in many months.
good to just receive input again.
very nice inspirations and thoughts.
nice experience again. haha.

seeing the worship team do their thing in amplify,
once again rekindled the hope in me, to hopefully (and eventually with God's grace)
to bring P&W of such level to CTK.
powerful heart-felt P&W with so much open worship.
really empowering to sing those words in any song.
moments when u do not let urself be distracted from ur surrounding people.
an inspiration that i hope CTK would hopefully grow to emulate.
then there was a talk by Bro Jude on the calling of God.
thoughts in my head just came by as the whole lot of us listened attentively.
what love He had for us. just immense and really beyond words.

well...sch matters now..
first paper's in 2 days.
procrastinator me has found myself (once again) in a lack of time to study.
its irritatingly funny, how i never ever learn my learn NOT to procrastinate.
now i've got barely a week left to study 4 more papers. haha.
wont be a pleasant week-odd coming up. heh.

music wise...havent been on a roll for awhile now.
just walking by, picking up bits and pieces of new knowledge and ideas.
one thing that got me real grateful for,
was gettin to know a churchmate with immense knowledge in music.
learnt some theory and music in general from her. awesome stuff.
a fellow big JM fan too, so that helps alot. haha.
thank you Jane, though i believe you wont read this. haha.

alrite, lil break's over.
back to the books (and a lil guitar)

Before i end,
a little shout out to a legend of music,
the innovator, definer and a master of blues-rock music.
Sir Stevie Ray Vaughan left the world 20 years ago, today.
His legacy lives on.
Thank you and God Bless you SRV.
ur music reigns today.

ciao.

2010-08-13T04:03:00.002+08:00

One very true line i just stumbled upon,

thought that its good to put up.

Satan is perfectly willing to have a person profess Christianity as long as he does not practice it.

How true it is,

that though we may call ourselves a christian/catholic, or whatever faith,

but so long we do not practice or live out what we believe in,

we are not one who is truly a christian/catholic.

However, regardless of whether we live our believes,

His love still shines brightly on us.

Whether we are open to His love and presence in our lives,

is completely up to us.

I believe somebody told me this before:

This shows the immensity of His love,

how He would love and trust us to an extent that He gives us the free will
to do whatever we want with our gifts, blessings, and most importantly,
our lives.

So, are you one who lives by your faith and your belief?

A short post today.

ciao.

2010-08-02T03:09:00.002+08:00

keith urban is so good.
think its safe to say that keith urban is really up there as a musician.
so so awesome on many different levels.
how do i even start.
well he can really play that guit, with such raw feeling.
what a voice as well.
what a talent.
top it up with such humbleness, really a Godsend to the music world.

Glad that there is still real pure talent and musicianship in the music scene.
sadly, these people arent as well publicized as other (seemingly to me) acts,
especially on the radio. typical rap, dance-floor kinda beat-infused hits.
makes me a lil frustrated and disappointed, really.
yeah they can be cool and funky.
but does it really require talent to be able to do such stuff
with the help of autotune and technology?
how bout sitting down in front of thousands and performing,
with just an acoustic guit or a piano with u.
now that requires real talent for one to shine through.
a setting like that brings out either the best or worst of a musician.
a setting like that best evokes the raw and heartfelt emotions which the music delivers.

so yeah...a lil rant on music again.
i thank God for this beautiful gifts,
and all the musicians on the forefront who utilize this gift
and deliver its beauty to the rest of the people.

And i thank you Keith,
for the wonderful music you've given to the people.
really awesome stuff man. so inspiring.

2010-07-21T01:13:00.003+08:00

Well its been a long time since i last posted.

what can i say, sch's been kinda hectic.

Just finished my last proj today with a skit.

exams start in late Aug, through to 9 sept.

i dont know, havent been working hard thus far.

didnt copy tut answers in class, so lets see how im gna study for this exam.

Church activities on the low side as well.

Canteen this weekend.

Having the cc3s attached to ministry now, so responsibility is definitely there.

Guess i can say im still feeling and doing fine,

despite not doing well in terms of studies.

Not in a state where im letting myself succumb to pressure.

How im still feeling fine despite not feeling comfortable and at ease,

shows how my spirituality guides me thru all that i do.

I've not been as spiritually filled as i hope to be.

its shitty, how your time with Him dwindles as soon as your tasks on hand increases.

but its a cycle i guess, how we rise and fall in this spiritual cycle.

all in all, i do know and try to acknowledge His love and presence in my daily life.

i fault, definitely. but a sense of guilt comes along with everything fault i find myself in.

in a way, i feel that is God's voice,

giving me a reminder of who i am NOT supposed to be.

and i'm thankful for that.

should the conscience and the inner voice of Him fade within me (as it can so easily be lost),

i might just have already faltered, feeling like how i felt a couple of times in the past,

havin all the negativity and just feeling useless.

the fact that i havent had that in awhile (not that i'd wish to feel that way),

shows how His love continues and will always shine down on me,

just like how He would to every single one of you.

just be thankful, and be open to all the little blessings that take place in your life everyday.

hmm, music...

nothing much has been happening in this aspect.

it continues to be my outet, and im forever grateful for this.

the drive to be a better player still burns strongly in me.

the power of music is too great and just cant be expressed in words.

just hoping more people in church would step up and offer their gift of music, back to Him.

i believe there will be people, just a matter of when He wills it.

well overall,

its been a busy period.

i'm doing fine, not by my strength though.

staying positive cause of all the positivity and beauty around me.

trying to be a good example of His love in my daily living

still loving, living and giving the music in me, and offering it back to Him.

ICT test later on.

study time.

ciao.

2010-07-02T02:35:00.003+08:00

first of five weeks of sch is down.
4 weeks of sch before its the month-long study break.
was lookin forward to it only after the 1st or 2nd day of sch.

kinda in a state of an extiguishing flame of interest for what im doing now.
singled out 2 reasons.
one, would be my poor time management and prioritization.
two, would be my major flaw of sloth.
you see, i take my time in almost everything i do.
and i wouldnt touch my books or do anything related to sch, unless i have to.
and when i know i have to, i digress.
look for food, surf the web, music, and more music.
anything but studies.
so its this very bad mindset of mine for now i believe.

its tough, fighting with ur mind.
funny how the easiest things to do, are never the best options.
how easy it is to run away and shut ourselves off.
but how it never ever helps the situation you are stuck in.
so relating this to studies,
i just gta suck this in for another year and a half.
3 more sems.

why do i feel i should go more into music.
is it coming from the mindset of passion, and using it for ur future,
or just a plain thought of always been enjoying music, thinking that its easy cos u love it.

so its a question of whether am i taking things to easily in general.
the answer is yes i feel.
now, why.
i have no answers.

well just gta buck up.
its a class with pretty smart and hardworking people around me i must say.
gta face the books and take it in.
no complaining, because i have my faults for not working harder when i can.
self-motivation, pretty hard thing to do. argh.

on a brighter note,
a lil music theory lesson trw. woo. awesome shit.
lookin forward to it.

Music can be such a beauty, and yet can be such a distraction.
to me at least.

ciao.

2010-06-22T01:58:00.002+08:00

in the midst of a 2 week break from sch.
first week was pretty busy, with proj meetings and church stuff.
had a real nice weekend with family and churchmates.
its been a great time. haha.

finally got to finish the crossroads guitar festival dvd.
seriously awesome shit.
the atmosphere there, and the whole experience.
woah must have been an unforgettable night.
2nd disc was better i feel,
with the more notable musicians.
mayer, jeff beck, clapton, buddy guy, steve winwood, etc.
damn. sweet stuff to the ears.

its really an inspiration seeing these guys play.
how the emotions sound through a six-string.
even more so an inspiration for someone who cant sing. hahaha.
now to just wait for the city music sale.
some GAS waiting to be relieved. hahaha.

been checking out Tal Wilkenfeld.
freaking awesome bassist.
24 this year, and she's played with ppl like jeff beck and chick corea.
seriously, a born genius.
quite a stunner too.

more musical legends should come down.
well at least for now there's slash who's coming soon.
98 bucks, ouch.

havent been progressing much on the guit.
feel that im lackin more on my right hand than the left.
the muting and string accuracy really can be better.
its hard to progress now.
tryin to get more feelings to sound through with the little notes that i know.
its not what, how much or how fast you play,
but rather how you play those notes.

what i meant is the phrasing.
how you phrase ur notes in your own playing.
how you make ur emotions felt in your playing.
now thats the challenge.
thats the ultimate stage i feel,
letting your fingers do the talking,
and letting the guitar sing for you.

lookin to get into music theory,
wna learn more.
argh, quite an insatiable hunger. haha.

music is such a beauty that cant be put into words.
i really cant finish experiencing such a beauty.
its something that still holds and stays true all these years
while the world around it screws itself up.
its really a salvation and a saving grace for all the shit that happens in the world.
One of the best gifts of love by Him.
really a love that can never be destroyed.
this phrase i found on the net sometime back still sums everything up:

Music is what emotions sound like.

Goodnite all.
Cheers.

2010-06-05T01:01:00.002+08:00

helped out with a session by another ministry today, Children of Light.
as the name suggests,
they deal with children, and just helping the kids to realise the love of God and just learning more bout Him.
going through a lil games activity today, brought much joy.
seeing all their innocent answers and questions, its really funny yet joyful.
their enthusiasm in knowing more and participating, yet maturity in their knowledge.
just real enlightening seeing them.

makes me think, how much enthusiasm we lack in our everyday lives.
how we go about each day, thinking "what do i have to do today"
and we go about, fulfilling our obligations and sch/work.
most of the time, we'd feel weary inside, even though we would manage to complete our tasks.
but, are we truly happy with what we are?

quiet time with Him in the adoration room helps me piece my thoughts together,
and, through the few minutes in the room, seek comfort in Him.
we all feel so tired very often, and are broken inside in one way or another.

little things like seeing how the children work and talk,
gives me a reminder of His love for us.
how we can be blind to Him in our everyday lives.
we lack our own personal time, be it to reflect or to pray.
we always spend time gettin work done.
by the time we're done with them, we'd neglect prayer probably by just KO'ing on the bed, or just start watching TV or surfing away on the com.
how much we complain bout little things in our lives,
but always overlook all the blessings that we already have.

we always overlook all the good things that exist in our lives,
and keep going on about how we dislike this or that.

we may dislike certain people for their flaws.
but do we take time to truly listen them out, instead of judging them based on their flaws
i know i defintely fault in this,
just as many people do.
we face many people with bullshit,
but how we filled with those bullshit to pass judgment on them as well.
in a way, i feel, is pride.
how we feel we are always right, and are above certain people.
such an easy trap to fall into.

i'll stop here. not much relevance in what i said,
but at least it comes straight from what i feel.
ciao.

2010-06-02T00:02:00.002+08:00

had an awesome weekend spent at CC3 camp.
one major thing i learnt, was how blind i could be to Him,
only searching for Him through the physical things around me,
instead of looking for him on the inside.
i get abit messed up thinkin bout it still. but its a valuable reminder by Him.

After this good spiritual weekend spent, its back to the pile of things that i've to settle.
i feel a lil uncertain bout everything, looking at whats lying in front of me to do.
its really quite a challenge trying to balance being involved in church and sch.
havent done tutorials since i dont know when.
only studying for tests a day or two before.
assignments waiting.
church band practices and sessions to think about.
i thank Him for the reminder of how He's always around even when we overlook His presence.
and for that, i know that i can count on my faith in Him.

Its good to have caught up a lil with sec sch mates.
really, they are quite a treasure to me. haha.
not forgetting the friends in church and sch,
all special in their own little ways.
its quite uplifting being with them.

gta head off to settle project first.
hope i'll be able to sustain well for the next week or two.
ciao.

2010-05-18T01:38:00.002+08:00

just felt like having a lil time of reflection again.
christian songs never fail to make me reflect.

well its been a rather emotionally-charged month.
wont go into details.

death can bring you back to the big picture of our personal lives.
how we can get so caught up with all thats happening around us.
death just seems to grab you by the neck and pulls you back.
and it can really hurt,
to know that you've lost someone in your life.
someone who you could have known so much better,
someone who you could have treasured so much more.
but its also a pretty beautiful thing, death.
how it can bring out the deepest emotions in everybody,
where a common love for the deceased brings everyone together,
and you can feel the love, really.
its bittersweet,
losing somebody you've seen through your whole life,
but at the same time taking comfort in the fact
that the deceased has indeed lived a good life filled with love.

the occurance of death has really got thinking,
since i've never lost any1 i personally knew, close or not.
and 2 of such passings really dealt a blow to me, straight through the heart.

sad we may be over losing a person in our lives,
but, thinking back now, we can smile, knowing how much love the person has brought to us.

well i've been meaning to talk bout sch life as well (at expense of study time)
its honestly been a place where...we cant be ourselves.
you see people who are just broken inside, but either
dont know what to do about it/dont even realise it.
seeing them, i'd think to myself and realise.
its the many little things you realise, and keep to yourself.

theres this guy in my class whos really been quite an inspiration for me.
its actually these kinda people who are really hidden gems on the inside.
they do not strike you in any way when you do not know them.
but knowing and talkin to him,
serves as another reminder of how we take so many simple blessings for granted.
and honestly, its really a joy to have known him.

its these people that humble you.
people who have suffered so much, and yet do not complain.
and there we are,
complaining about so many damn things.

why are we who we are now.
such assholes in our own little way.

we may not like how things are nowadays, all the bullshit happening everywhere.
but we are subconsciously lettin ourselves get pulled down by it as well.
i know i let myself fault ever so often. i do.

i'd stop here.
ciao.

2010-05-14T01:13:00.002+08:00

got a lil struck by the lyrics from mayer's man on the side.
such a beautifully painful tune.

one of the many
one of the few
to stand back and wait for you

i fell in love with a dream i built of you
playing the part of the queen
taking my own advice
i'm giving up tonight
good luck to you and the king

2010-05-02T02:30:00.002+08:00

well...certain things got me thinkin a lil bit.
seeing how a churchmate departing from this world...
gave me a lil reminder of life and its fragilities

how we do perceive death?
do we think of death as something suffering,
or perhaps something that brings about relief from pain in this world?
death significantly impacts the people close to the deceased,
to a point where a person's outlook in life may just take on a totally different perspective.

i personally am not good with losses,
and can struggle to contain emotions in times like these.
but amidst all the tears,
one can take comfort in knowing that the departed would have a better life ahead of him/her.
that they are no longer bound to a world thats so screwed.

and as the people come together to remember the departed,
we can find solace in each others presense,
knowing how the departed made an impact in the lives of each and everyone present.
and we can rejoice, knowing how much joy the departed has brought to each of us.
families grow closer, friendships are strengthened, all by the passing of this very person.

after all the crying is over,
we shall be thankful for knowing and celebrating the life of this person together.
and miss the person we will, for the mark they've left on our lives.

people close to the departed are strengthened by the passing,
and everybody cherishes the value of our individual lives,
and the people that we hold so dearly.

and so, i thank you Melissa,
for the lesson and reminder you've given to all of us.
May God keep you in his safe hands, and bring you to a better place where you are no longer suppressed by the happenings of this world.
We'll all miss you.

2010-04-15T00:28:00.002+08:00

sch in approx 3 days.
not looking forward to it..
maybe its cos this hols have been rather eventful?
lotsa church commitments, and friends.
havent learnt as much as i wanted on the music side.
but yeah, think its safe to say that it's a good enough break.

been more exposed to more genres of music over the recent months/year
instrumentals like beck, to blues-jazz like robben ford, derek trucks, SRV.
plus the usual suspects of mayer and clapton,
knowing their styles abit more here and there.
and kinda got back to a lil of the good old music,
lifehouse and matchbox twenty and a lil of the fray. sweet stuff.

hopefully long-term listening of such stuff,
will pay off on the fretboard.
and (always trying to) never forget the source of such a beautiful existence of the guit.
so of course, the music of tomlin and hillsongs are an importance as well.

well spiritual life can definitely be better from what it is now.
not gettin as much input as what i would have liked.
but hey...lets see what He has in stall,
esp in this coming new start of sch life.

approx 1/3 of current year 1 class, goin into curent class.
curious to know the other 2/3 of the new class.
lets see what unfolds.

ciao.

2010-04-10T01:43:00.003+08:00

times where music is the only confidant for you.

i truly thank God for the existence of music,
and letting me know how to play the guitar.

2010-04-03T00:36:00.002+08:00

really treasure the times where there's just you and music being played.
moments which keep me sane most of the time.
some moments of solitude with oneself is always precious and important, for me at least.

have you ever felt that going ons of reality gettin to you?
how you would rather spend time, in the absense of everything that's bullshit to you.
and just find rest somewhere remote with the people/things that you find comfort in.

not very there spiritually inside.
hearing the struggle of a friend,
it brought me back down.
very good, since it makes me realise some things as well.
all the more, comes the need for a solitary moment once again.

im beat.
need some quality time with music and God.
heading for the pitstop early tonight.

ciao.

2010-03-26T23:50:00.002+08:00

feel really crappy knowing that i missed buddy guy....
and even worse knowing that it was an awesome performance.
arghhhhhh.

now i can only hope other legends would head down someday soon.

damn.

2010-03-23T01:26:00.002+08:00

results in less than 7 hours.
not too optimistic honestly.
being practical, it wont look too good.
but its expected eh. hah.
lets just see how things go.

just chillin at home, feeling a lil tired now.
slept till 2 in the aft, had katong laksa with parents. awesome stuff.
came back, felt sleepy so slept again.
and headin off to sleep again soon.
really wonder how can one sleep so much.
quite a pig eh. haha.

feeling the effects of not being fit for awhile already.
its hard to kickstart the engine within myself.
urgh.

havent touched neon as well,
the want to learn that tune kinda vanished for awhile.
wont force upon myself to get it. hah.

been sleeping earlier, so yeah thats good.
parents nagging finally caught up with me for this one.
with the help of a friend or 2 as well.
hah.

headin off first. ciao.

2010-03-17T02:53:00.002+08:00

neon is sick.
its seriously another level in guitar.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
bloody difficult.

this is gna be a long, tough journey.
but i'll get it.
someday.

2010-03-16T00:44:00.002+08:00

was an awesome past 3 days spent.
headed for a church camp.
real good experiences and lessons,
and just gettin to know the cathecism level much better.
rather good friendships forged i feel. real nice.
seeing different people in this camp kinda broadened my view on people in general.
how people can actually hide their sufferings inside
and not willing to let go at all costs, some suffering even beyond one's control.
it can hurt, knowin that u cant do much.
but overall, great great experience.

was in a way, a reminder to me that being humble is real impt.
sometimes we can really get out of our mind,
and think we're on top of the world.
truth is, there just will be something that will just overcome and topple you.
and thats good,
since it's kinda like a lesson on being appreciative for what you really have.

real tired actually.
but there comes this want to come on aft 3 days. hah.
caught up a lil with the dearest sec sch peeps.
great time chillin, as usual.

now to get some rest for a day or two.
along with a dose of some good ol' music.
ciao.

2010-03-08T02:56:00.002+08:00

in times of adversity, despair and hurt,
we tend to wna shelter ourselves from the suffering
by solely relying on our own abilities.
either by bottling up
and try to turn urself away from people and other distractions
or resort to manners to let a lil of the agony felt inside out,
thru the change in behaviour.

all this change just to hide and cover up one's innermost feelings
keeping them away from the people and world around us.
ultimately, one would just wallow in self-pity and crumble on the inside.

what can cause such immense feelings.
largely from the feelings u may feel for a person?
or maybe being a victim/target of accusations and bitching by people?
or the loss of someone u used to hold so dearly.
many reasons i guess.

believe many people are just wearing a mask on the outside.
not being ur true self when u step face most people
a difference in ur true character and attitude,
just to cover up ur own insecurities.

im guessing, that the people that u probably feel dearly for.
are the ones that can u can actually open urself to
to remove the mask that u wear on the outside
and just talk and express what u really feel on the inside.

there are only very few people in our lives that are capable of doing so.
and once u find a person like that,
you'll find it hard to let go.
no matter how much the person may possibly hurt u,
u still care for them.

and this loss of such a person may just cause so much hurt in you.
so much so, that there are changes in your behavior, attitude.
stemming from just a sole human that was a significant part of ur life.

in the midst of all the suffering
where would God be in this situation?
would He be forgotten?
as you neglect Him, choosing to settle ur own problems alone.
think that's one major thing we are all very well capable of doing.
even myself, very often.

then comes along some1 else,
whom u realise u can pour all the suppressed anger and pain out.
a person who had the patience to be quiet and listen,
and bear the brunt of ur frustrations
a person who will play a big role in helpin u stand up strong again.

this person, i believe, is actually a little representation of His love for us.
if we hold out long enough, and not to drown ourselves out from the people around us,
along will come such a person.
it all comes down to faith and trust again, to me at least.

just think it's all a cycle of us falling and standin up again.
a process, that makes us go through suffering.
and only thru the suffering, that we can appreciate where all the good things come from.
and to cherish the people around us.

this is just a good example of how i feel that
holding on and trusting in God would tide you over
and actually keeps you sane from all the happenings of this world.
cos life is really one hell of a rollercoaster.

people bitch, and life can play very good tricks on you.
things that keep you away from the peace and happiness that one has.
so why let stuff like that get you down.
think bout it, if ur in the wrong then do something bout it.
but if u've been doin good,
then just live ur life.
and be happy for the many little blessings that we have.
blessings that we so often overlook.

so this was just a rant
may be wrong/right in other's judgment.
but its just something that i feel for/believe in

2010-03-01T18:05:00.003+08:00

everytime i watch the crossroads vid of clapton playing i shot the sheriff,
i get reminded of how great he is (not forgettin his band)
pure sweetness. love it.

dinner later at pang's. shiok.

ciao.

2010-02-26T00:46:00.002+08:00

so the start of the (almost) 2 months hols starts today.
just great.

got quite a few plans up.
mainly musical stuff again.
because im just hoping to be able to lay mayer's neon down.
that would be another level up i guess.
complex chords played simultaneously with a lil percussion from strings.

and also the consideration to get a lil piano playing learnt.
have always been interested in piano.
the funky, chill-out, and jazzy kinda playing.
hopefully, basics of piano can be self-taught (?)

last but most importantly, jamming.
all the fun and experiences while playing.
yeahh.

doubt neon can be laid down still though.
its just simply another level.
wont prob get that down, not in the coming months. years, maybe.

so yeah, this is just a lil talk bout the musical aims this hols.

again, spurred on by the passion to learn and play more.
its a desire to ultimately reach the level of self-expression of a one's feelings inside,
through the instrument.

something that can be felt through the blues.

and never forgetting where this gift comes from,
the One above.

2010-02-19T04:43:00.003+08:00

first paper is in 4 hours 15 min time.
pray i wont zone out durin the paper.

havent had a worse time for exams-
in the midst of CNY.

results definitely will drop this sem.
just hope they wont drop too bad eh.

gta get a lil bit of sleep.
ciao.

2010-02-12T02:11:00.002+08:00

its been awhile.
sch's been takin up more time now.
exams in exactly a week's time. not good at all.
but hols in 13 days.
its kinda like seeing the light at the end of this tunnel.
just hold on and whack a lil more.
but i've not started whacking the books, honestly.

gettin a lil reflective again,
cos its the last day of sch with this class.
well many personal lessons learnt from the ppl in this class.
kinda realised how ppl can be really different.
think i was kept in my own lil comfort zone in 4 years of the warm peirce mates.
im grateful for this poly class for what it had taught me.
and thankful that there are still some guys that i can talk to in this class.
so all's good.

kinda miss seeing the teachers from peirce. havent seen them in a long while.
hopefully would be able to see some trw,
should i head back to peirce. hah.
ppl i've known from sec sch,
some, im certain, will be lifelong friends.
thankful for them,
though i might not say it directly. heh.

have yet to do accounts tut for final lesson trw. hah.
one third of poly life is done. just like that.
time really flies.
been a good experience this past year.

ciao.

2010-01-27T01:58:00.002+08:00

havin a prob focusing on sch work.
keep drifting away.
either surfin aimlessly on the web, or just gettin another dose of guitar-ing.
cant seem to get down properly to academics.
urgh.

its 2.01am.
excel test and macro presentation on thurs.
i'll do both well.
gta salvage myself for this bloody IT module,
and not be seemingly (to me) an unneccassary member in my macro grp.

sch's at a point of time,
where its a lone battle.
sure, u do have ur fellow comrades with you on the battlefield.
but ultimately,
only you can save urself from ur own trouble.
a time where you have to stand up strong,
and make a stand.
not for anyone, but for yourself.
i feel that i've fell behind the expectations i have of myself,
and took things too easily.

i can type weirdly sometimes.
but its what i feel eh.
a lil talk with a couple of guys in my class
made my mind want to switch reflectory-mode
elaboratin on my thoughts here wont be good.

but its come to a point where
its your own battle.
nobody to fall back on, except for Him (and music)
i dont know, theres no sense of ease with this class.
at least for me. hah.

things like this occur,
so that it helps us to be appreciative of who are the actual ones you can turn to in your life.
i hope it helps any of you,
who may currently be experiencing shit now.
remember who are the ones that have been true to you.
and know that you have them,
though u seem to be alone in what you do currently.

1 more month. anticipation.

and i'm lookin forward to the jam later at night.

2010-01-23T01:36:00.003+08:00

its the weekends.
5 weekdays seemed like a hell long time to pass now.
drained.

so sch stuff has been filling my mind recently.
not a good thing.
had proj meetin today.
somehow cant seem to find what was needed.
maybe it's just me.
couldnt broaden my own thinking.
a lil narrow-minded perhaps?
so yeah..i've to get the stuff done soon.

so, headed back to church today for session.
after the 5 bloody days of sch.
always wonderful to head back to church after the trials of reality.
back to a place where u can just be true to urself, and everybody else.
thankful for being a catholic all the way. never regretted it.

year 1 of poly life is approaching its end.
an interesting year i'd say.
met people i've never thought i'd get to know.
indeed quite an experience.
taught me certain things.
it gets harder to be urself.
sometimes it can be tiring,
just succumbing to the harsh realities of sch life.
things you never wanted to happen/bring across.
quite a lesson too,
was making mistakes on my part.
but i'm grateful for the things that happened,
for it brought me back to appreciating the stuff that we'd normally take for granted.

been an interesting year.
and quite a hell of a ride too.

around a month more to exams.
havent started the dreaded revisions.
but i say,
bring it on.
its a challlenge to the mind.
lets see if we can hang on tight and focus.
well we've no choice too eh. tsk.
needa welcome myself back soon to the impending sense of doom,
and do something about it.

gta catch up on more sleep.
always feelin lethargic recently
dont like the feeling.
i need my dose of swimming/running.
need my (already pathetic) fitness back.

ciao.

2010-01-20T22:57:00.002+08:00

had test ystd.
presentation for marketin proj today.
2 loads off my mind this week.
feels good to have gotten past them.

came home today,
feeling a lil more fatigued than usual.
sch is real drainin these days.
hmm what can i say. its the peak now.
around a month to exams.
meanwhile, have to complete 2 more projects
not lookin forward to doing them actually.
being tired is a lame excuse.
so yeah, while i have a wee bit of extra time for rest today.
i'll take it.

wont be doin macro tut.
will just complete excel work tonight.
afterwhich,
i'll get back some of the sleep i've lacked.

just a lil post for now.
mind has been pretty stoned today.
i'm tired.

ciao.

2010-01-17T16:04:00.002+08:00

was thinkin a lil bit bout music.
so went to find some music quotes.
found this one that kinda struck me.
which i'll mention later.

music. its really a universal language huh.
no words spoken. yet feelings can felt.
music transcends speech.
really quite a level above words.
i think its one the very few things left in life,
that is true to itself and cant be manipulated.
man, without music.
i dont know how'd live. really.
i'd lose the thing i'd always come back to.

even though i've not reached a level
where i can truely let the guitar speak or shout what cant be expressed in me,
(i hope i'd be able to do that someday)
i found great joy in music.
there were times i used to openly put down music genres that i dont listen to.
(okay, im still guilty of this)
but im very fortunate to have met some wonderful musicians
people who have broadened my perception of music.
truely grateful for that.

well just overall,
music is a true and pure gift that we were given to enjoy,
and express what words cannot.
a shelter that we come back to, a joy that we all enjoy.
i love music.
though i've a long long long way to go in this.
but its a wonderful lifetime journey that i'm loving.

thankful for my cousin who started me out on a classical guitar.
its been a wonderful 3-odd years on this guitar journey.
started off with the poppy stuff. with some pop-rock and acoustic stuff along the way.
i still like those stuff. esp acoustics. beautiful.
then i got introduced to the blues.
mayer, clapton, hendrix, SRV, BB king, robben ford, larry carlton.
these guys (and more) came into my musical journey.
how their guitar became a 2nd them, and expressing whats inside of them.
awesome stuff. but i'm really very far from what i hope to achieve. hah.

hope to eventually get into jazz blues, dabble into some rock and their instrumentals.
learning some country stuff would be great too.

music's a lifetime journey.
i'm enjoying the ride and all the joy and comfort it brings.

and finally, the quote which really struck me and making me type all those nonsense that came outta my head. hope it gets to you too.

so there you go, my little (insignificant) ramble on music.

"Music is what feelings sound like"

2010-01-14T02:27:00.002+08:00

so, i took a bloody long time to fall asleep ystd night
laid on the bed from 3-odd to 5-odd.
think my mind was too active for my own good.
very very bad. heh.

so yeah, overslept for sch (not surprisingly)
and guess what, sch started at 11.
i can miss an 11am lesson. great.
woke up almost 2.
yeah, bad. seriously bad.

i resolved to sleep earlier.
prob by 1.
but it didnt go to plan again tonight.
its 2.32am now. so yeah..fail.
it can be quite bad being a night owl huh.
how ur only active in the night.
yeah, i tend to do my work only at late hours.
and drift away in the day.
its hard to cope with activities that begin in the morn.
its a habit and lifestyle i've to change i guess.
dont know how i'd achieve this change,
but i hope to. hah.

kinda miss jamming
stuff like these tend to nag in ur head when sch/boredom peaks.
yeah, be it some strummer (such a word?) song,
or bluesy jams. i'd love them.

sidetracking,
i wonder why few ppl take to blues.
most mainstream pop-related genres and rap tend to conquer the airwaves here.
genres should be widen up man.
seems to be no place for legends in music.
i missed the times when music was really emotive,
when it carried feelings and soul.
its quite a rarity now.
maybe thats why i kinda felt for blues.
how the guitar can be a 2nd you,
expressing ur feelings through it.
i think thats the ultimate level of a musician,
freely expressing your emotions through your voice/respective instrument.

yeah. i'm glad i was exposed to other genres years back
to break away from mainstream, and get into some blues and a lil jazz.
and listen other stuff as well.
of course i got a long way more to go,
to appreciate many other forms of music i find hard to comprehend now.

well music is a lifelong journey,
so yeah, i'll take my time and appreciate music and all its wonders.
and meanwhile, just enjoy the beauty that it is.

i better get going.
dont wna be late again for trw.
ciao.

2010-01-10T00:22:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since i had nothing to do on a nice saturday.
woke up around 2. felt real good. hah.
pang came over afterwhich.
talked bout and jammed some music.
all's good.
headed to dinner with family later on.
just a nice relaxed time today.

so there goes saturday, and on to the last proper day of break,
we go face to face with sch once again.
ready to strive on? i doubt.
ready to try and work harder? yes, i believe so.
its only around 4-5 weeks of sch, b4 the study break comes,
in prep for exams.
real fast.
this sem seems faster than the previous.
and afterwhich, there goes year1 of poly life.
many realisations thru the 1 year i've experienced.

tryin my hand out at excel now.
an assignment to be done.
i'll get this sorted out b4 i head off for sleep,
which doesnt happen till at least 3 in the morn.
frankly, its not good.
had a habit of sleepin by 1am durin sch life.
i'll get back to this time by end of next week,
where pressures of sch should prob help me feel the fatigue.

i kinda feel the need to get fitter.
weirdly, i feel like gettin back to the times of sec sch
where i was more active in sports and being rather fit.
yeah, just gettin back the stamina.

will head back to excel.
ciao.

2010-01-06T01:18:00.002+08:00

completed 1 out of 4 projects today.
quite drained from the previous night preparing for it.

drifting to the familiar old late-night reflective mood again.
ever felt like the past seemed better, than what u have now?
i would love to relive the days in sec 3 again.
many many memories from that year.
guess all that i can say,
was that they really were good memories.
time. and all its works.
it can really make u cherish what u have now,
remindin you of the significant things in your life,
and not gettin too bothered by trivial stuff like sch, any incident, etc.
time can also pull significant ppl away from ur life,
even if, in the deeper depths inside you, you have never forgotten them.
talking to these people, then and now, can have such differences.
well, the good things never last eh. hah.

okay, out of this reflective state of mind.
back to (harsh) reality.

1.25am now.
i'd head off soon.
finish up the cup of coffee
and sleep.

ciao.

2010-01-01T03:09:00.003+08:00

well. its been a year.
one that brought alot of growth and faith,
and strength through challenges given to me by Him.
a year that opened my eyes to lotsa stuff as well.
the post would be too lengthy if i were to type of all i think. heh.
but it was a good year i must say.

what i hope for this new year, nothing specific.
just one very generic goal,
that is to be a better person overall.
its like how you know that u've been rather okay as a friend or family member,
but there are certain personal flaws of ur own that could have been done away with.

like if you wished for happiness or more peace in your life in the coming year,
perhaps it could actually start from ur thinking and character.
how you could be more tolerant of ur friends, family members if things dont work out.
knowing that by being more tolerant,
perhaps less arguments and politics would occur in ur life.
which ultimately leads to more peace within yourself.
this itself is quite a challenge eh.
but i just think that many things that you hope for,
actually start from urself.

there are certain things that u cant control of cos.
that is where the challenge comes,
and its down to trust in Him,
that there is actually a purpose for any incident that may occur.
like you ask for strength,
and He gives you a challenge in ur life to overcome.
that is where ur strength is tested.
believe that you'll gain strength, by overcoming the challenge presented.

i may sound boring with all these nonsensical stuff that come outta my head.
but the realisation of things in this perspective have brought me much contentment.
things in daily life, like seeing a crippled person living in peace,
reminds you of how blessed you already are.
and how we are actually so damn caught up with trivial worries and arguments.
makes me feel like quite a loser, worried bout stupid sch and other small stuff.
haha.

so, currently in a state of peace within myself,
and going into this new year with belief
that everything will work out fine eventually.
why not make it better by realising ur actual self,
and improve on it. benefits yourself and others around you.
and live out this journey of life to the fullest.
spend it with the loved ones in your lives, the cherished friends,
and just embrace life and its surprises.

here's to a happy and blessed new year yeah~
Goodnite.

2009-12-21T01:40:00.002+08:00

its been awhile again.
life's been going along rather smoothly.
test period have gone by. projects are peaking now.
but my priorities are such that i'd rather catch up with the old mates,
then sit in front of the laptop typing out some report.

a couple of meetups with the sec sch friends this week.
upper sec, lower sec.
both were impactful in their own ways.
lookin back again,
its been quite a journey with all these people.
i know for certain i grew up alot during that whole time.
learnt alot, enjoyed most, but tough lessons for certain stuff.
think its safe to say,
its kinda clearly mapped out now, how things work out.
at least i know better how to approach certain things.
life lessons. thankful for them.

well anyway,
looking forward to meetin them again.
its quite nice to see, how we ourselves change (hopefully never for the worse)
from being naive 14-15 year olds,
to progressively having a better outlook of things as we get a lil older.
yeah again, the small little boy i was not too long ago.
a little comic relief just thinking about it.
well not that im big now or whatsoever. hah.

just kinda back into the reflective mood again.
seems like theres a timing for this mood,
when some down-tempo music play and im just sittin here late at night.
its peaceful, yet potentially bitter-sweet when the reflections come in again.
kinda like how things are at this time.
seems like the world could temporarily exude that wee bit of peace.

oh yeah, dinner with mum just now was nice.
not often that its just a mother-son quality time together.
real nice.
just felt like adding it to this post.

shall head off first.
ciao.

2009-12-15T00:43:00.002+08:00

had an really amazing past week or so.
whole time was spent on coping with
numerous youth camp meetings, studying for tests and the actual youth camp itself.
really crazy.
plus, my ibanez is finally good again. happy bout this.
really thankful for everything that has happened.
seriously, it was a crazy time.
wasnt even sure if i could make it out of the whole time feeling good.
but, i can say i really did.
and i really thank Him for this.
was damn hectic and a major lack of sleep all those time didnt help at all.

looking back, it was a really awesome time.
not sure if i was ever that busy b4.
hope i've not seriously neglected anything.

last week of sch b4 the 2 week sch break starts.
for now, i've got a stats test to settle.
its in 7-odd hours, but i kinda diverted.
hah. no1 to blame anyway.
hols are gna be spent catching up on old friends.
the sec sch classmates and stuff.
plus, some catchin up academically.
last but not least,
having an awesome x'mas and new year.
basically, a good break from everything.

i'll give stats a lil last push,
b4 i KO and head to sleep again.

ciao.

2009-12-05T01:42:00.002+08:00

havent posted in a week or so i believe.
this period of time's rather hectic.
quite a fair bit of school tests and church activities.
juggling both is rather a challenge.
strength from Him is what i need.
coupled with a good dose of music,
and proper time management.

lots of stuff comin up over the next week or so.
tests, project meetups, some music audition, church camp.
hope all will go well, esp church camp.

strong faith and trust, i believe, is the foundation in the whole outlook in life.
esp applicable for me as a Catholic at least.
having the trust in God and knowing that all things happen for a reason.
good or bad, God willed it to be, for us to grow stronger, especially on the inside.
and the faith to carry on trying to live life to the best of your abilities.
though undoubtedly you'll falter and fall of the right side of things.
then comes these 2 attributes again,
knowing you'll stand up strong, and things WILL be fine,
as long as you do not allow yourself to wallow in ur misery.

its a cycle, the way i see it.
we have our fair shares of enjoyment, taking many little blessings for granted.
then something happens, and we fall.
and so on.
but ultimately, faith and trust allows us to get back up standing and smiling.
though it can conjure up some cruel realities,
we know that our lives are good.
with the faith and trust rooted deep within ourselves,
we can smile and embrace life and all that it can offer,
knowing God is always there backing us up.

well i dont know what made me say stuff like these again.
a random thing that just came up. heh.

back to studying.
ciao.

2009-11-28T00:22:00.002+08:00

slack day today, just stayin at home doin nothing.
feels good.
woke up real late, around 2 plus.
its been a long while since i had sucha long sleep.
used com, lazed around.
few churchmates came over.
had dinner, practiced some songs (plus a lil jamming)

church session trw.
havent had session in awhile too.
good to have it again.

next 3 weeks will be quite a big one.
with tests, church camp and other activities happening.
hope i can achieve a good balance between them,
and do well for both.

nice chill-out day today.
good rest from everything.

ciao.

2009-11-22T01:32:00.002+08:00

real long day today.
but i must say, an awesome one.
a lil too tired to fully elaborate.
but one thing i must say,

i greatly enjoyed performing with the guys just now.
had a great time playing. haha.
really great guys just having fun and perform, no pressure.
it really is quite a joy to experience.
really lookin forward to next playing date with those guys.

trw's another church meetin day.
hope it'll run out smoothly.
aft trw, its back to reality of sch.
sch's quite an interesting experience,
how i got to know many diff kinda ppl.
learnt quite abit in this period of my life.
good stuff.

its a relatively great day today.
will end off the day with some good ol' sleep.
ciao.

2009-11-20T01:48:00.002+08:00

been quite a busy week.
projects comin in. been taking it rather fine,
besides the point of havin a lack of sleep.
hah.
its friday morn already.
gna have a couple of lessons,
then off to celebrate old auntie jeannette's bday,
at a vegetarian restaurant.
yeah, its gna be quite a challenge for me.
hope i can find that little bit of enjoyment in having a plate of greens for dinner.
but hey, its for a good friend.
so definitely, why not. haha.

had astons just now with pang and sam, his good friend from rp.
was rather funny and interesting.
something stupidly funny happened. quite a joke. haha.
always awesome to chill with the good old sec sch friends,
esp these few close guys.
jammin, eatin, crappin..its all good.
yeah..makes me real thankful for all the blessings,
blessings that we often take for granted.

nothin much left to say.
sch's early trw.
ciao.

and the old feeling is back yet again.
its a tough battle to fight it.
i still dont seem to be winning this battle.
its frustrating, how it just stays at the back of my mind,
refusing to leave. after all this time.
this does suck. sigh.

2009-11-14T00:51:00.002+08:00

sometimes when ur life is going smoothly and relatively well,
we tend to take things lightly and for granted,
overlooking the many little joys and blessings that we may have.

and yet when ur life hits an obstacle, and u suddenly stop and think,
have u been living your life well? why must this happen to me?
and similar stuff like that.
its weird, how we can often overlook many positives in our lives
and yet sulk at how miserable life can be when u are faced with problems or frustrations.
thats just us, eccentric humans i guess.

many ppl communicate in such a manner too.
only when they feel like they're troubled,
they would think of a particular person that they would share their troubles with.
or when ur life is rather happening,
you would not have some friends in ur minds, chucking them aside in ur brain.
these friends may have had shared certain memories with u,
but they appear insignificant to u when ur life is a smooth journey.
until something occurs that makes u think back
and want to talk to them again. now why is that.

after talking so much.
i myself acknowledge the fact that i am guilty for the above mentioned stuff.
now why do i act this way too.
its weird of me to behave like that.
and its weird of us, to just ultimately be self-centered and only caring bout our lives,
until we choose to talk and catch up with the ppl who were once so significant.

enough of talking crap.
had quite a nice closure to friday, or the week rather
came back from jem's place awhile back.
played some music with him and ant.
as usual, shiokness and just peaceful.
Music, i must say,
is quite an impt part of my life.
many times, it is my solitude.
one that allows me to forget and come back to the inner me.
i love that.

feeling tired.
ciao.

time is very good in creating distances between people.
i think time has played its game with me,
for i have realised its effects.
believe that i have tried to bridge the gap a lil.
i feel a lil empty with whats become of it.
maybe its just me.
cant say much. prob just a little sigh,
and move on.

2009-11-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

quite a day today.
church quite comforted me over the whole hectic day,
just a time where the secular worries are put aside.
its a friday trw, end of the 4th week.
time passed real quick.

quite a few events coming up.
and this is a trying period of time for me,
in many aspects.
i will be my usual self, knowing what i belief in and do isn't wrong,
but definitely flawed too.
swim trw, just in time to relief some tension inside.

this is a time where you know you have the One above for guidance,
as you surge through the challenges you face in your life, valiantly.

2009-11-11T22:39:00.002+08:00

day didnt go exactly well.
tho lessons were rather short,
felt a lil weird for me today.
just feeling tired in general.

there are times when u feel like u dont want to do anything for the rest of the day,
and just lay in bed and sleep the night/day away,
cos ur just physically and mentally tired.
why im tired, i dont know why too.
didnt do sports today, didnt study much today.
guess its just one of the odd times
where u dont feel at peace with urself and everything around u.

and just when i harboured the thought of sleeping so early tonight
in comes the assignments. hurray.
this is a lil test of being strong inside and working thru ur discomforts.
i shall struggle thru this tonight.
and sleep the off-day away afterwhich.

ciao.

2009-11-08T01:30:00.002+08:00

had an awesome day today.
headed to church in the morn.
helped the Saint Vincent de Paul ppl to pack food and stuff
for some of the people.
and delivered some of those stuff to some homebound ppl.
went around with this uncle,
who has approx 10 guits,
has a 1962 fender strat,
and plays professionally.
amazing. quite an inspiration. haha.

its quite heartwarming to see the ppl whom we delivered the stuff to.
them ailing in health, living in homes so sparse,
yet content with whatever they have. being quite at peace
and so content with the stuff that we gave them today.
its a blessing that im living in such conditions,
being given such blessings to have a peaceful and wonderful life thus far.

just came back from supper with sec sch mates.
those dear ppl, whom come over quite regularly.
play a lil guit, talk alot of nonsense, and laugh a hell lot.
just wonderful.

aft all these time, all of us are just so comfortable with each other.
think thats how great friendships should be,
to a point where u are just so comfortable with the person
that u can just do anything without feeling a lil awkward. haha.
these significant few, are more than enough to be so damn thankful for.
we dont need major positive things in our lives to be happy,
we just need the little things,
like a few good people in your life for example.
and we just spent 3 hours in my room doing nothing but just chillin and crapping around.
felt like 30 mins. tsk.
i'm feeling real thankful.

gna have church publicity for youth camp trw early morn.
hope all goes well.
pray that the upcoming camp would be a spiritually fulfilling one.
i need some spirituality input.
and a dose of good music.

ciao.

2009-11-04T01:10:00.002+08:00

Had quite an interesting day in sch.
there are quite a few kinda ppl around huh,
how friendships can be quite fragile.
and ppl whom u know is hard to trust.

i still believe that u dont really know a person well,
unless u know for a long time.
its the ups and downs that u go thru with this person,
that actually shows their true colours.
and yeah, the claim that this sem is gna be interesting,
is unfolding quite well. tsk.

had soccer today.
i play so damn pathetically bad.
out of the so many scoring opportunities,
i missed all. either that or hit GK. tsk.
horrid. real horrid. haha.
but it was fun.
and bloody tiring.
nev felt the feeling of being tired to that extent for quite awhile.
but well, enjoyable. haha.

swim trw with dan,
provided the weather is all good.
swimming's damn shiok. lovin' it. hah.
if not, i think its laptop time.
since we have to bring our laptops to marketing class. hah.

1.29am now.
feelin a lil less tired,
took a 3 hour-odd nap just now. haha.
more of a sleep rather than a nap i think.
that explains me feelin less tired.
class is at 11, so its good.
maybe i'll play a lil fifa first b4 headin to bed.

nothin much else to say.
ciao.

2009-11-03T02:08:00.002+08:00

2.08 now.
just finished stats tut.
well, most of it.
since i've no textbook which i dont intend to buy. tsk.
the tut's kinda tedious but systematic.
hah.

class at 8am trw.
afraid i might oversleep like this morn.
was late for lect. heh.
shouldnt be bloggin at this time.
but heck, felt like doing so.
and since its already so late,
why not. hah.

thankfully theres music playin in the room,
if not i'd prob fall asleep doin stats.
eyes are a lil strained.
and i'm gettin quite tired.
hope trw will be productive.

soccer trw amongst the guys again.
hope it doenst rain trw and wed.
since its sports time. haha.
it feels good how sports (swimming esp.) has become sorta like a habit
for the few of us guys in class.

i was a pathetic noob in swimming this time a year ago.
real bad.
i think i can say, imma better noob now.
till a point where i really kinda like swimming.
though i can only swim one stroke. haha.
but yeah..its the distance rite.
kinda find peace and enjoyment in the water.
the beauty of sports and music.
how nice. haha.

this blog has been going on for around 5 years.
how fast.
remembered the 1st time i blogged,
it was when i was Pri 6 and gna take PSLE soon. tsk!
back then, when we were all naive
and not bothered by the troubles of life.
only being loved and kept safe under your beloved parents.
but yet, the beauty of life is revealed to me
when troubles of this world and ourselves actually surface
as we grow older.
many ups and downs.
the emotional rollercoaster rides.
knowing the people you now know and treasure.
i'm thankful for that.

i'll start with this, since its the 400th post:

this good friend of mine who created this blogskin for me.
not sure if u'll ever read this.
but yeah, you are treasured, in more ways than one.
really.
i will not let this friendship go, even if time between us.
a heartfelt thank you, for so many things.
I thank God for lettin me know you.
i'll be there if you ever need anything.
and i mean it ;)

Just had to say that. heh.

alrite, i really should be headin off to get a lil sleep.
4 1/2 hours of it.
ciao.

Pain throws your heart to the ground
But Love turns the whole thing around.
Though it wont all go the way it should,
but i know the Heart of Life is good.

2009-10-30T00:34:00.002+08:00

well today was quite good i must say.
made it thru quite finely.
gta catch up on a lil bit of work b4 headin to bed.
8am class trw.

jam later on trw night with dear churchmates.
awesome jams with them always.
never fail to enjoy those times.
greatly lookin forward to it.

well, left toe kinda hurt a lil.
initially was the long toe nail that caused a lil irritation.
cut the nail off this morn,
now its still buggin me aft much walking today
tsk. something small anyway.
hope its not the shoe or whatever ingrown toe nail.
hah.

nothing much left to say.
ciao.

its been a couple of years.
still cant really let it pass,
because its still something i feel so much for.
and this thought revisits me once again.
argh.

2009-10-28T23:39:00.002+08:00

sch today was pretty slack.
guess the slack day paid off the upcoming long day trw.
heh.
9-5 of sch, then church at 7-9/10 odd?
wow.
hope it'll be a productive one.

nothing much to say.
kinda just chillin out to some music in the room, play guit,
blabla.

ciao then.

memories,
oh bittersweet memories.
what beautiful sorrow they can be.

2009-10-27T00:30:00.002+08:00

well 2nd week of sch has started.
going relatively fine.
just that a certain module is really quite draggy.
hmm. hope i'll do fine in it though.

man utd loss to loserpool.
what is this.
but respect to both sides for fighting hard lah.
quite entertaining. 2 red cards.
Mascherano sliding Van Der Sar. hahahaha.
funny.

soccer in sch trw.
been a bloody long time since i last played.
gna be real rusty trw. hah.
well, its a fun thing to just play with the guys from class.
prob gna swim on wed too, provided it doesnt rain. heh.

been playin guit quite a bit recently.
jamming in preparation for Church feast day dinner and some sch comp.
been kinda fun.
esp the feast day one. haha.
of cos, its again a blessing to be able to play a lil bit of music.
Amen.

headin off now.
class at 8am. urgh.

goodnite.

2009-10-25T00:57:00.002+08:00

kinda conducted session today.
2/4 attachees came today, apart from the members themselves.
nice to know that one of the attachee is the sis of my old track-mate.
so yeah..thats nice.
i think i was a lil unsettled today, since it was my first time doin a full session. heh.
the attachee could tell, by the way i was fiddling with the rubber band on the table. tsk.
thankful that it went well,
though i was poorly-prepared.
Amen.

i think i'll talk bout this funny incident that happened aft session,
at church coffeeshop.

my ministry-mates and i were just sitting at the coffeeshop, talking bout random crap (as usual)
then i was talkin halfway,
when my friends suddenly had shocked expressions on their faces, looking at my left shoulder.
then i kinda went 'eh, why so shocked suddenly?'
then they pointed to my shoulder,
saying "theres a cockroach on your shoulder!"
woah.
shit man.
then i immediately jumped up from my seat,
and kept tugging at my shirt.
then off the cockroach went, landin on the floor and headed towards the drain.
wah lau eh. damn sick. haha.
out of all the many customers in the coffeeshop,
i had to be the one the cockroach chosen.
worse thing was, i didnt even feel a single thing,
till they told me bout it.
hahaha. what a joke.

well,
a good friend of mine casually talked to me bout love,
and whether there was anything that happened in sec sch,
bla bla.
then i asked him if he knew some stuff i didnt.
then off goes his cheeky laughter.
i think there is stuff he knows about, that i dont know.
haha.
it brings me back to a certain period in sec sch life.
what he said made me ponder a lil bit.

theres tutorials to complete this weekend.
but, there is a jam session trw.
awesome ^2

ciao.

maybe, just maybe, there was indeed something.
i've not forgotten bout it.
lets see what time would throw in my way.

2009-10-20T00:15:00.003+08:00

sch.
it feels a lil off on the 1st day of sem 2.
a lil quieter.
i just think that there are many things that would occur over these 6 mths.
somehow.
good or bad. i dont know.
think it'll be an interesting sem.
2nd and final sem with this class.
lets see if stronger friendships can be forged between all of us.
its certainly diff from sec sch,
but we'll see how things go.
and follow the path God has laid upon us.

meanwhile, hope to have twice weekly sports days in sch.
since tues and wed are relatively free for us.
till bloody projects come in. tsk.

8am class trw.
hope i'd be there on time. hah.
ciao.

life is like a rollercoaster. enjoy the ride.

lets see what this life offers us with time,
through the rollercoaster ride of our lives.
at the end of the journey, i believe
fulfillment and happiness we'll find.

2009-10-19T00:18:00.002+08:00

great great way of spendin the last day of hols.
had church the whole day.
and night was spent with the dear sec sch mates again.
last time this hols.
but definitely not the last time.
in fact, i think this thing of us meetin up for jam sessions/late night tau huey
will continue for quite awhile.
hahaha. awesome time with awesome ppl.
all the stupid jokes and laughing at teachers.
bloody funny. haha.

8-odd hours and first lesson will start.
stats again. how nice.
well at least i get to use a lil brain again.
hope to get better grades compared to the past sem.
3.0 seriously isnt good, as compared to my NP mates.
lookin to improve upon it. hah.
not easy, but i'll aim higher.

1225 now.
would try to sleep a lil earlier.
hope to head to bed by 2? hah.
doubt i'll sleep immediately.

alrite, back to sch later.

ciao.

2009-10-18T00:41:00.002+08:00

had an awesome end to the hols.
been chillin out quite alot with sec sch mates.
one of the best ways to spend time i guess.

its always with the good ol' mates
that you've spent so much of your youth with,
going thru so many changes in each of our lives,
thru thick and thin,
and just being there to know that you've got a friend.
and i am grateful for each and every one of them.

trw's last day.
had enough of rest. almost to a point where i become to lazy.
so its good to start using a lil brain again. haha.

nothing much else.
ciao.

2009-10-12T02:56:00.002+08:00

came back from a bday surprise for beloved pang.
surprised him at his house at 12 just now.
real nice. haha.
a great brother i must say. haha.
5 years of great friendship.
lets make it 50 eh. hahaha.
a happy 17th to you man.

just love the sec sch friends.
haha. cant say that enough.
but its so damn true. haha.
2 bday celebrations down
1 more coming up eh..johnny. haha.
great friends.
totally worth every moment spent with them.
such a blessing to have known such joyous ppl. haha.

3.01am now.
guess i should head out.
and sleep (like a pig) on the totally comfy bed.

ciao.

2009-10-11T16:03:00.004+08:00

stayin at new house is awesome so far.
bed came ystd. damn shiok.
haha. with the air con and stuff.
with guits all in.
perfect.

ystd had a nice time chillin with sec sch mates.
for auntie rach tan.
havent seen this classmate since prom (i think)
its nice to just catch up a lil. haha.
sec sch friends are seriously still the best bunch of peeps.
not sayin others are bad or what. but yeah..
haha.
now it makes me just want to catch up with my old sec 2 class.
heh.
havent met up in a bloody long time.

a real chill-out day today.
nothing planned.
except for a lil plan much later on.
think it'll be great. haha.

needa have a swim/workout with the guys soon.
swimmin is going on like a weekly thing for awhile now.
hope this routine stays on for a long time.
have this urge to swim weekly recently.
great stuff. haha.

ciao.

2009-10-10T01:17:00.002+08:00

church meeting today.
first time being in this kinda meeting.
not used to it. yet.
hah.

i need some spiritual input.
lacking in it.
lacking in spiritual kinda "energy"
like im living each day as it is.
just feels im lacking something.
heh.
and what better time to have it now.

its a trying time in church now.
ministry going thru a challenging phase.
its make or break now.
and i see the responsibility is on me, to do something bout it.
and i will do something bout it.
i feel this is where trust in Him and just doing what i can comes in.
plus sch starts again soon.
i'll need the guidance in these aspects of my life evermore.

im over at new house now.
i guess its permanent now.
moved everything from tpy to here already i think.
yeah. own room.
new environment.
new lil phase of life.
will call some peeps over soon for housewarming.
though im not sure when's housewarming. tsk.

a lil more in the reflective mood again.
kinda miss the old friends that i havent talked to in awhile.
man..without friends.
this world is shit.
without family and love and friends,
its a meaningless life.
tsk.
im beginnin to get into crap talk.
i'll stop.

ciao.

2009-10-08T00:45:00.002+08:00

had badminton today.
strung racket at this shop.
sat at the coffeeshop like some uncle, sipping teh-c and havin a lil toast,
while waitin for shop to open, and racket to be strung later.
felt good actually. hah.
strung red strings. looks and feels good.
i think it had a lil more power than the ol' strings.

bbq buffet at seoul garden for lunch trw with some of the poly peeps.
good food. at a good price. hah.
around 12 bucks for a lunch, at student price.
gna eat more than 12 bucks worth of meat man.
awesome stuff.

gta head for a swim with the guys soon.
feelin a need for swim again. hah.
swimmin has become an almost weekly affair.
thats good.
and thinkin how i was such an idiot in the waters a year back.
it has certainly changed quite a bit. haha.

should be headin for a lil shoppin this fri with mum.
still has this voucher given to me by aunt for bday.
yeah the voucher is big enough for me to buy quite a few stuff.
time to stock up on some clothing.
hah.
i dont often buy new clothing, and i dont really fancy shopping,
unless i wna find for new clothes.
so yeah..hope it'll be time well spent.
good for some mother-son bondin too? heh.

nothin much else to say.

ciao.

2009-10-06T01:21:00.002+08:00

so..stayed at new house for 2 nights so far i think.
been real good.
pang and yap came over for the 1st (and definitely not last) time
they're gna see this house for the many years to come huh. haha.

today wasnt enjoyable.
woke up 4 plus today. hah.
yeah..just me being the pig i am.
been havin a runny nose since i woke up.
sneezed a hell lot.
up to now, i think the amt of mucus could fill a cup.
hah. argh.
at 1.32am now, its made me sleepy.
tsk.

sch in approx 2 weeks time.
im about ready to start.
had just about enough rest.
didnt do much on music (sadly)
i dno how i spent my time actually.
time passed pretty fast.
just chillin out with friends, a lil sports here and there.
yeah.

anyway Youth Mass happened 2 nights back.
a pretty smooth Youth Mass,
this time with a larger turnout considerin it was held at main church.
Mass was nice, celebrated with familiar Fr Kenny.
great, easygoing priest.
the Mass parts that i played was terrible.
tempo was off with the congregation.
i came on too early/late for some parts.
and i wasnt familiar with some of them.
Mass parts i done can be summed up in one word :
mediocre.
didnt turn out how i hope it should be, playing well for God.
will take this lesson, and learn from it.
disappointed with myself. but at least i tried.

all the sneezing makes me feel rather uncomfortable now.
just got the "having something stuck in ur throat" feelin now.
its hard to describe.
coupled with an ailing stomach.
actually my stomach's not very strong all the while.
its a bad stomach prob. hah.

headin off.
ciao.

Treasure everybody around you, for you'll never know when they might be gone.
Life is very gragile. Live it well.

2009-10-01T01:22:00.002+08:00

spendin the night at new house now.
in an air-conditioned room, feelin a lil cold.
havent had this feelin in years. haha tsk.
but yeah...really awesome house.
when its done...man, it would feel great.
haha.

showed a couple of friends my room.
sorry, i was happy with it. so had to. haha.
did some stupid faces on the webcam too.
stupidly fun. hahahaha.
havent done that in sucha long time. hahhaa.

music prac trw.
last prac for sat itself.
hope it'll all go well.

enjoying the night at new home.
wonderful feelin of peace. heh.

ciao.

2009-09-29T00:50:00.002+08:00

new house is being completed soon.
sofa comin in later in the day.
dining table and tv rack came in today.
awesome stuff.
movin in, latest in 3 weeks?
hmm. yeah around there.
parents aimin for the 10th. hah.

a couple of great days ahead,
concerning food.
great dinners 2 days in a row,
coupled with good friends.
what more can u ask for.
haha.

playin soft chill-out acoustic at night's real sweet.
sadly i cant do that.
but it will all change,
all so bloody soon.
haha.
man..excitement's buildin up.
haha.
real nice man.

not sure if can head for some sports with the guys this week.
hope so. heh.

nothing much left to say.

ciao.

good food, here i come.

2009-09-28T02:01:00.002+08:00

woke up with a bad sore eye this morn.
just aft i realised i was late for church.
eye prompted me to stay home and rest,
rather then headin to church.

end up, i didnt go to church at all.
bad. and i missed Mass.
bad ^2. arghhhhhhhhhh.
what a sin.

and just now, i realised.
my earpiece is spoilt.
left one.
shit man.
doenst feel like a earpiece, with one half of it spoilt.
damn it.
this sucks.
again, my fault, since im the only one using it.
haha. no1 to blame i guess.
this is what u get what frequent usage and improper storage of it.
arghhh. gettin more frustrated as i listen to music.
tsk.

and theres this person,
who doenst know and doenst like "tsk"
its been over a year i think.
and still cant figure it out.
hahahahaha.
something worth laughing at.

well anyway,
today ordered a new study table and a new bed.
sponsored by Godmum.
initially just planned to the bed in my current home,
and the study table left by previous owner, which looks and is good.
but yeah..Godmum wanted me to change a new one.
a nice gift from her.
a really great Godmum.
such a blessing to have her.

its been an eventful day.
hope my sore eye would be gone soon (no, i didnt watch anything)
and my earpiece would be fine, which i seriously think won't happen.

alrite, headin off first.
dining table and tv rack comin in trw.
and off i go to find an extra set of earpiece.

ciao.

2009-09-26T02:10:00.002+08:00

played pathetically today.
esp the start.
its a big lack in practice i think.
well, who else to blame again but me.
hmm. luckily the guys were alrite with me,
and that the ending was great for us.

trw's a big day in the new house.
major furniture/appliances headin in.
awesome stuff.
new house is close to being done.
i must say, i like my wardrobe.
love the colour scheme and the way it turned out man.
haha.

some thinkin on the good ol' times were made,
its bittersweet.
and i hope to relive something similar,
because the story hasnt ended, to me.
let time do its thing, and i'll try again.

ciao.

2009-09-25T16:20:00.003+08:00

pain throws your heart to the ground.
love turns the whole thing around.
though it won't all go the way it should,
but i know the heart of life, is good.

lyrics from a mayer song.
just thought i'd like to post this up.
how inspiring. heh.

music prac later.
man..hope it goes well,
as i lift up the blessings He gave to me, back to Him.
Amen.

2009-09-25T01:42:00.002+08:00

been a great 2 days.
badminton ystd, gym today.
right arm's really sore now.
but its a good thing i guess,
means to show the exercise didnt go to waste.
and it also shows the weakness i have.

i think its good sometimes,
to realise the flaws u have.
it keeps one grounded, in a sense that u know that ur not a good enough person.
just when u thought that things are going well for u and ur good.
thats the beauty of the down days i guess.
days where ur brought back to reality,
knowing that ur not how u want things to be.
and u reflect upon urself, ur actions.
and for me, a particular past incident.
i dont know if it should be called a mistake.
maybe it is.
a thought of a person,
brings me back to the memories of the past.
why does it still pull a heartstring within.
hmm.

flaws. they can be a good thing huh.
good to recognize them,
learning to grow and be stronger from whatever mishaps, emotionally and mentally.
not having regrets is another key thing.
guess this all sums up to something.
how you would want to live each day happily,
being at peace with urself and with the ppl around u.
not easy as it seems eh.

man, back to a reflective mode again.
wonder why.
i think i know why.
argh.
being able to let go is such a challenge.
maybe its hard,
till u experience something similar in the nature of what u want to let go of.
its a sad thing.
yet such an experience.

theres a fitting song i've been listenin to.
sums the thoughts up nicely. esp the verses.
beauitiful song, nice lyrics.
let the song do the talking.

Michael Buble- Lost

I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I only knew
Days were slipping past
That the good things never last

And God I hope it's not too late
It's not too late

'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Though things have seemed to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

on a good note,
i gained 2kg.
hope the numbers arent playing with me.

ciao.

2009-09-23T09:35:00.002+08:00

just saw results 1/2 hr ago.
must say, its alrite.
guess i'm satisfied with it.
even though i didnt expect some of the results to be like that.

Thank God for the blessings.

2009-09-21T03:13:00.002+08:00

today was a rather long day,
totally spent on doing up and cleanin the new house.
man, tough job.
i think i did the easiest stuff though.
felt that even sis did more. haha.

cleaned 2 windows (well) and the electrical switches, plus some vacumming.
seemed so easy, but the cleaning took so bloody long.
but im satisfied with what i did. heh.
parents and sis took care of the kitchen and master bedroom.
quite nice lah, considerin the family was workin together to get the new house ready.
and yeah...movin in soon.
stayin there in around 2 weeks time i think.
real fast.

so ystd was also music prac for upcomin Youth Mass.
surprisingly, it went smoothly for all of us.
even though it was our first prac, and we have never jammed as a grp b4.
well i've never played with them b4 lah. heh.
but yeah, we did well.
Amen.

i got melvin wong's TS7,
cos he lent me for the Youth Mass.
and now its at home, for me to play with.
hahahahaha. awesome stuff.
gna play around with it trw.
a lil cautious with it though, since its not mine.
and he's generous enough to entrust it to me.

badminton this comin wed i hope.
havent been playin for so damn long.
miss it. used to play every week. haha.
and prob gym/swim on thurs. nice nice.

3.20am now.
tired.

lookin forward to some playin with TS7 soon.
(and my results too)

ciao.

2009-09-19T01:39:00.002+08:00

just found an old file filled with sec sch stuff.
all the lil notes, letters, photos.
just lookin at those pics and readin the lil notes made my day (night, rather)
kinda made me feel that my sec sch life was indeed well-lived.
and certainly full of great memories.

i still think one of the best ppl i've met in my short life so far,
are in sec sch.
of cos there are the ones from church and poly too.
but sec sch has made the most impact thus far.
one special gift from sec sch was one by my whole class
they had this yellow a4 paper,
one of my classmate drew a guit on one side,
then the whole class wrote birthday wishes on the paper.
its just a few words from each of them, but certainly a very nice gift to me.
then theres my sec 1 pics.
woah. i was really bloody small. haha.

alrite, been on laptop for damn long now.

ciao.

2009-09-18T18:35:00.002+08:00

well. ystd had quite a nice time with melvin and jon comin over.
jammed a lil.
its good that we jammed with closed doors so that ppl wouldnt get disgusted by the singing.
hahaha.
but nevertheless, awesome stuff.
went for the great legendary toa payoh hokkien mee.
3 of us shared and ate 13 bucks worth of hokkien mee.
thats how good it is.
seriously i think food lovers should try it.
its damn good. haha.
should bring the good friends out to try it b4 i move away from toa payoh.
yeah, rather chill-out ystd.

today's real lazy day.
woke up 2 plus.
real cool weather.
rather comfortable to just chill at home.
heh.

and finally got my ibanez back.
sigh. the saddle is so sensitive, how a lil misalignment can cause such probs.
argh.
at least i've it back now.
kinda feel that acoustic's still "home" for me.
love acoustics.
of cos, i love my les paul too.
heh. love for guitars..its quite funny how i can get so into guits.
this all boils down to one simple thing.
the love and passion for music (blues~!).
well...maybe except for techno.

new house is close to completion.
painting is mostly done.
so theres just the cleanup and bringing of stuff into the house.
so move in would be prob by a month from now i guess.
real fast.
gta love my room.
i kinda wanted a more warm, chill-out sense of feel to the room.
guess its kinda achieved. heh.

next youth Mass is comin real soon.
the band hasnt started jamming.
worrying.
plus my new role as lead,
even more so worrying.
gotten to used to playin rhythm/acoustic.
now we're talkin bout riffs, effects.
interesting change.
well i guess everybody has to start from somewhere.
nevertheless, it's a Mass. praise and worship in honour of the One above.
its always easy to forget where all the blessings and gifts come from.
i tend to get carried away by the wonders of music itself,
that i neglect the fact the what i have got to enjoy, is a gift from Him.
and as i practice (somewhat lazily) for the youth Mass,
i pray all will go well, for me and for everbody involved.

havent seen grandma and cousins for awhile now.
i prob should head there soon.

alrite, back to FIFA 09 for awhile.
ciao.

2009-09-17T00:23:00.002+08:00

well..jeanette showed me this vid bout these young kids in uganda.
how they were on the verge of death from starvation.
when the camera crew arrived at the village,
these 2 kids were just lying flat on the floor, lacking in clothing.
they were so helpless, just lying there not doing anything.
they couldnt move their legs as they had polio,
and were so dirty in their ragged clothing.
real sad scene.

and there comes their older sis, an 8 year old girl.
who actually arrived from miles away, to just fetch water to bathe her 2 lil siblings.
its heartwarming to see sucha thing.
more of bittersweet, if you'd call it.
such a sweet act of family love in the midst of all these agony.

reminds me of not being a good person actually.
how pathetic i can be.
too many flaws for me to list out.
well, let me try my best to minimize them.
how sad that we can be blinded by all the materialistic goods around us.
taking for granted lil blessings like being 100% able bodied..
man, we're real blind and blinded in such aspects.
for one, i'm a real sucker in this.
argh.

now it makes me feel a lil guilty of what i planned to say.
how my ibanez is finally ready at swee lee aft 2 weeks. heh.
i just hope that the prob is once and for all, resolved.

and thanks jeanette for the vid, if ur ever readin this.
real thankful in being able to know you as a friend,
and actually being a great one too. haha.

ciao~

2009-09-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

on the way home just now,
i got a msg from sis.
sayin that mum and dad quarreled.

so i headed home.
sis opened door for me,
i saw her puffy eyes.
then i kinda knew how tramatising it was when i saw my aunt teary-eyed too.
thankfully mum's strong.

well, just another disappointment in my dad.
takin out his frustrations on the family.
wow. this shows me the emotional maturity of my dad.
ventin out frustrations on the expense of ur loved ones.
i thought that was something a grown man wouldnt do.
pathetic.

again, im reminded of a life lesson.
i pray i wouldnt be such a person in future.
do some stupid stuff that can cause so many tension in a family.
thankfully im gettin less and less affected by such stuff.

on a brighter note,
it was a great day out.
im happy to have known such friends,
knowin u can have heart-to-heart talks with.

finally,
i thank God for such an experience in life.
and teaching me not to have wrath and violence on anyone,
and be a loving person always.
Amen.

2009-09-14T02:27:00.002+08:00

i realise.
its easy for ppl to misinterpret whatever you say.
its a lil sad how u cant actually say stuff u wanted to say.
what i said a long time ago.
what i said just now.
actually i've faulted in my words alot of times.
hmm.

well.
guess i cant put/say whatever i would want to.
misinterpretation/misunderstanding. such a dangerous thing.
my bad again i guess.
life lessons. heh.

feeling a lil cranky recently.
argh.

ciao.

2009-09-13T00:38:00.002+08:00

rough day today.
felt a lil off.
argh.

basically, not a good day.
i feel that havin a punching bag in the room for me would help.
damn.
its the hols, why cant i head out.
hmm. i've been spendin too much?
well i've never asked parents for extra money cos of me spendin too much.
stayin at home, it'll just lead to sleepin till late hours of the day.
feelin like a sick bastard.
well..if thats what parents want.
i'll take it in and stay home.

i've not headed out with friends a few times because of this.
and how i've made them change their plans.
all my fault. thankfully their understand peeps
or maybe they talked without me knowing.
i dont know.
hope thats not the case.
but who's to blame. only me i guess.

its only today i hope.
the trust in the One above is there.
things work out better.

ciao.

2009-09-09T22:56:00.003+08:00

just saw this lil 9 year old boy playin some blues.
haha. awesome man. hope for the blues.
the blues kinda went a lil down after death of SRV.
but here comes the rise of many other great blues musicians.
Robben ford, joe bonamassa, derek trucks, john mayer.
not forgettin the legend-eric clapton.
and this lil 9 year old came up.
Amen to blues man.
love the soul and feeling that goes into this music.
awesome.

so, i had dinner with sec sch mates just now.
these were the guys who really hung out in sch, during recesses, erc.
the ones im really close to.
yeah. its been 4 years with most of them.
the whole sec sch life.
and damn, did we grow from being puny sec 1 kids.
not as if we're big now, but its so much better for us now.
dan's bloody tall now. damn. we used to be the same height in lower sec.
basically it was great just headin for dinner with them lah.
haha.

and yeah, tried this thing called fried mars bars today.
awesome. haha.
pang u waiting for me to say this rite.
and yeah, my first, but not the last time i'll take this. hah!
it was damn sweet, but damn good.
shiokk.
and i ate mega burger twice in a row for dinner.
sickk man. but its still nice after today.
hopefully no more swensons for awhile. haha.

quite a good day today.
trw will be some guitar-checkin out at city music.
wna have a look at some multi-effects.
and oso, martin guitars. haha.
jem's gna try out craftsman guit. hopefully it'll be great. haha.
gna have a lil run too. finally.
havent been running.

alrite.
ciao.

2009-09-09T02:51:00.002+08:00

is it still a case of, holding on and still not lettin go?
or is it just..God's will?

holding on to a faint hope that it might still work.
its funny, how many ppl can come along and change ur perspective for awhile.
but down in the roots of the heart,
there might actually be a seed of feelings already planted.
one that is unwavered by any other waves of feelings ever felt.
or is there ever one.

i still felt it was something i had never thought of b4.
how you could feel such at ease with some1, yet having such feelings.
i see many ppl falling head over heels for their respective guy/girl.
and i often dismiss it as a case of infatuation and crushes.
well, i do that because of whatever i have experienced.

now it seems distant to me.
ironic, how something that i feel so strongly for, yet at ease with,
could now become something foreign.
the communication has lapsed into, being mere friends.
the fall from grace.

its amazing how this thing bout love plays its game, one that nobody can comprehend.
something that can be heart-wrenching, yet beautiful. the 2 extremes.
a 50-50 game, between feeling like ur in heaven, or being placed in the depths of agony.
yet, it is something that everybody yearns for, ultimately.

i still believe its the best thing God ever had,
and wills us to always give and embrace.
Love.

2009-09-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

thought i could go for ice skating with poly mates trw.
but in the end, mum didnt allow.
for a really stupid reason.
kinda frustrated. but argh heck it.
its alrite.

so theres actually soccer with peirce mates too at sin ming trw.
i told teng i couldnt make it initially, cos i thought i would be goin ice skating with poly mates.
but yeah..looks like i could join these guys for soccer then.
awesome stuff.
though theres still a fair bit of frustration why i wasnt allowed to head out with poly mates.

listened to shout the lord by hillsongs.
written by darlene zschech specifically.
really awesome song. touching and emotional for me.
me and jem played this in the parish segment for north district youth rally ystd.
was really letting go of control over my hands.
as in i wasnt concentrating on the actualy playing,
but rather just in honour and worship to the One above.
just felt so nice.
aft the whole P&W session,
heard from one of my churchmate that one of my friend kinda touched by the Spirit
that made me feel even happier bout the whole P&W thing.
just letting the people feeling God's love through the music.
really awesome and gratifying for me.
since personally, i really have a feel for playing music for God,
apart from my love for music.

i just want to acknowledge this fact that i am given this gift for music,
and its given by Him.
and i would give the blessings back to Him through this gift.
like the lyrics in the song,
"every blessing you pour out, i'll turn back to praise"
something like that.
yeah thats what i'll always try to do.
really a big thanks to my a great friend called jeremy norfor.
reminded me of coming back to the heart of worship.
playing the music, all for Him.
regardless of the people we're playing in front of.
that really got me.
thanks jem. though i know you wont be readin this. heh.

alrite, kinda said what i felt like saying.
just a sense of gratefulness for all the blessings that i am given.
yeah. real awesome.
Amen to that.

ciao.

2009-09-04T02:33:00.003+08:00

hmm.
my ibanez had probs again.
sent it to swee lee.
really hope the root of the prob can be identified and be solved once and for all.
gets frustrating.
guess i'd have to use les paul for church this sat.
a lil funny, since its an acous. set thing.
but hey, for God. i believe nothing should stand in the way.
still love playing for church, and God.
always get a spiritual fulfillment.

anyway, i've said that i have neon as a musical aim this hol.
learnt the chords for the intro. its bad enough.
got me stuck just trying to get it smooth for that night.
seriously, sick stuff.
buts its a great challenge. haha. lovin it.
i think im on track to play the intro smoothly.
in a weeks time (hopefully). hahaha.

so the past few days have been good.
meetin with a couple of good ol' sec sch mates.
chilled at pang's hse.
played monopoly with him and yap. fun lah. hahaha.
how we had to pay yap 11k in monopoly $. joke. haha.
great guys to chill with.
was damn shiok lah. eatin cup noodles, sittin down and play some games.
sec sch mates are still the best.

poly makes u realise more bout life.
its nice.
know a few great peeps in poly.
but its just diff from sec sch.
where life was still carefree.
reality starts to show its cruel face as u progress on in life.

well headin for cycling in a few hours time,
with poly mates.
only a few though. 3 other guys and supposedly a couple of the girls too.
but yeah, the girls decided not to go.
a guys outing would be better sometimes. haha.
but think jeanette (one of the girls) might join us.

i think she's one of the easier to talk to person i know.
she had quite an experience in life. livin in aust.
us talking bout her r/s with her ex makes me feel a lil bad,
in a sense that how a r/s can go off
a guy's ego, and how a breakup can leave such scars in the whole r/s and in a person too.
she's a strong girl.
quite a nice thing to have gotten to know her.
kinda wasted in that she's not gna be in the same class from now,
since she's 1 sem ahead of us.
but yeah. i dont think distance can really break good friends apart.

2.52am now.
guess i should be headin off.
but i've been thinkin bout something recently.
this nagging thought at the back of my head.
i feel like i've been holding on.
holdin on to a feeling. a thought.
to some1 perhaps.
maybe its just another case of too much thinking.
then again, maybe its cos i felt that there was so much promise in it.
well.
i'll let time tell its tale. and God to have the plans.

ciao.

2009-08-31T01:34:00.002+08:00

its the holidays.
hell yeah.

this means for me:
1. Music time.
2. Get into more music.
3. Life gna be centred much more on music.
4. More involved in church.
5.Get fitter.

yeah. its 60% of the time on trying to improve for me this time round.
and i kinda thought of an aim for myself in the shower.
that is, i'm gna try and aim insanely high.
which is to play mayer's neon.
at least get half the gist of it by end of hols.
the song is really sick.
just let me know if u wna hear the song.

i dont even know how to start.
its too late to start trying to figure out on how to start the damn song.
and, watching Where The Light Is, is a great welcome back to the guit world.
albeit an inspiring, yet demoralizing one.
looking at how far more i've to go in guit.
yeah, im willing to go the mile for it.

never forgetting- this is a gift from the One above.
yeah. that means, never forgetting what i have and always staying grounded.
thats why i really really have a love for playing for Church.
really great.
the peeps from church are even better.
learnt a hell lot of music stuff from them.
totally awesome.

hope it'll be a great and productive, yet spiritually filled holidays.
Amen.

alrite, off to the trio set of Where The Light Is.
ciao.